Fighting a Wall of Fear

“Right on the edge of fear was where trust could grow.” ― Cherise Sinclair I’ve been reflecting on LittleSwitchBitch’s current Quote Quest prompt. What comes to mind is how much I’ve grown with Sir in the last six months. FEAR OF BEING VULNERABLE What is fear? Fear is an emotion. Dasmesh Kaur, J.S. and Raihanah, M.M. take a better look at fear in Mirroring Vulnerability: Fear and Shame in The Judge. They defined fear as an emotion “that pushes an individual into a cocoon of darkness, making him/her appear psychologically and emotionally weak and alone.” When you have a past full of physical and emotional trauma, it becomes a bit difficult to be vulnerable with others. I’ve always been a bit guarded, but after my ex, I pushed people away even more so. Being vulnerable meant giving someone the power to hurt me. I feared that sort of pain so […]

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Three Simple Words

Every time I talk to my lover, there are three simple words that sit on the tip of my tongue. Three simple words that I want to say to him when we’re in bed together. Three simple words that I want to say as he kisses me goodbye. Those three simple words may not be so grand when they are said alone, but when you string them together and it is truly what you mean, fireworks go off. Sometimes, it brings couples closer together and sometimes, one gets mad and walks away because the other does not feel the same. I LOVE YOU! Instead, I settle for the, “I miss you.” I say that I miss him every single day. To miss someone just seems less impactful than loving someone. I’m very careful with those three simple words. My ex and another guy that I had dated forced me to […]

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My Vanilla Lover

I spent time with my lover yesterday. When I am with him, I never want the moment to end. We could be cuddling on the couch, lying in bed, eating food, watching TV, or having our sexy time, I just like being with him. I know I’m a bit insecure, but being with him takes those insecurities away. I tend to have insecurities about my body and sometimes I get scared that my lover will end up leaving me for someone better. Then I walk into the door and he pulls me in to kiss me and he gets hard on the spot. I can feel him through his pants so he must find me sexy. He had a video conference so I had to wait a bit. I was sitting on the floor and he was sitting on the couch. He reached down my shirt to play with my […]

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The Many Sides of Me

As a sub, I feel like I am so many different things. Submissive is the general term because it can encompass so much. I’m not just one particular type of sub; there are many sides to me. I am a slut. More specifically, I am Sir’s slut. I am always hungry for his cock. Always eager to be naked for him. Always longing to be fucked by him. I am an exhibitionist (mildly). The thought of getting caught naked for Sir is thrilling. Though, I’ve only engaged in hidden public like being naked in my own yard. It’s also exciting when I masturbate for Sir. I send him nudes and videos of myself playing. I am primal prey. I’ve always enjoyed a rough fuck, but I desire for Sir to take me and devour me like an animal. The raw passion and desire is what I dream of. I am […]

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A Lonely Lover

Do you ever just ache to be with someone that when you’re not able to see or talk to them you just feel lonely? I’ve been feeling a bit lonely lately. Maybe it’s because it’s that time of the month again. I know go to dark places sometimes. Maybe it’s because the lover canceled on me. Maybe it’s because I didn’t get to talk to Sir much yesterday. It could just be this damn quarantine. The only interaction I get is with my family and the occasional client at work, but I’m misunderstood in my family. I often feel like the black sheep. I’m not the innocent vanilla virgin girl that the girls in my family are pretty much expected to be. I hide who I really am from my family and from many of my friends. If you could even call them friends. I used to have a lot […]

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Five Months In

It’s the 14th. I’ve been Sir’s submissive for five months today and I’m still happy being his. To me, it feels different than being someone’s girlfriend. With my Dom, I can tell him my deepest, darkest fantasies and know that I won’t be judged for them because he’s kinky just like me. I feel like I can be more myself with him than I could when I was with my ex. He accepts me for me and doesn’t expect me to be anyone else. I wouldn’t want him to change either. Sir is super sexy the way he is. Sir makes me laugh. A smile forms from ear to ear when his name pops up on my screen. I love when we talk. I love when we play. I love showing him my naked body and fantasizing about the things he would do to me. Sir is my safe place. […]

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It’s More Than Sex

While my fantasies with Sir have to do with sex and I do write about sex a lot, Sir and I have never actually had sex with each other. He’s seen my naked body and I’ve seen his yummy cock, but we’ve never had sex. When we play, he tells me when, where and how to touch myself and I have to ask for permission to squirt. But our relationship is more than just that. Yesterday, Sir was sending me memes. We talk about food, politics, random stupidity of people different people around the world, and many other things. We have normal conversations and we laugh a lot. I think many vanillas probably think that D/s relationships are just kinky sex. I guess it may be that way some, but at the end of the day we’re just people. I think it’s easier to talk to your partner in a […]

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Waking Up Alone

Waking up alone…I really don’t like it. I want to wake up next to Sir Daddy or my lover. I want to wake up spooning or with my head resting on one of their chests. Naked cuddles would be the best so I can have that skin to skin contact. It would make me feel safe and loved. When I wake up and find myself alone, I sometimes feel terrified from the nightmare I’ve had or from past emotional trauma. Waking up next to one of the two men I am fond of, would bring me a sense of comfort. It’s like I know they’ll take care of me. I know they’ll calm me down. I know they’ll keep me safe and I feel like they’ll protect me. Maybe that’s why I feel like calling Sir, Daddy instead sometimes and why I will sometimes refer to my lover as dear […]

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I Want A Taste

I find Sir to be very sexy and I want him all the time. If we were together right now, I’d be begging for his cock. I dream of Sir being rough with me. Pushing me up against a wall as he devours me. Bending me over and spanking me before taking my ass. Gagging and restraining me before fucking me relentlessly. If we were together he could do anything he wanted to me. Since my hard limits are things that he’s not into like scat, incest, and permanent injury, I wouldn’t have to worry about having to do things I’m against. So I’d be in for some CNC. Lately, I’ve just been craving Sir’s cock so much. His cock looks so yummy. Sir, can I please have a taste. Yours Truly, The Sassy Sub Daily

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