Liberty – Breaking His Shackles and Chains

“Liberty (n): (1) the quality or state of being free: (a) the power to do as one pleases, (b) freedom from physical restraint, (c) freedom from arbitrary or despotic, (d) the positive enjoyment of various social, political, or economic rights and privileges, (e) the power of choice.” – Merriam-Webster *Trigger warning: This post contains references to suicide, rape and abuse. If you are underage or sensitive to such material, I suggest that you stop here and turn back. CHAINED TO MY PAST Talking about my ex was always something I found difficult to do. He hurt me in unimaginable ways. I think the physical hurt was the easiest part though it seemed like torture in the moment. However, the emotional trauma seemed to be like an extension to unwanted prison sentence for a crime I did not commit. My friends and family are forbidden from saying his name. I think […]

Continue Reading

You may also like

Independent and Fearless

“Be that strong girl that everyone knew would make it through the worst, be that fearless girl, the one who would dare to do anything, be that independent girl who didn’t need a man; be that girl who never backed down.” – Taylor Swift *Content warning: the following post talks about rape, abuse, and murder. If you are underage or sensitive to these topics, I would suggest not reading this post. INDEPENDENT AND FREE July’s theme for the Fun Theme Photo Meme is Independence. I had a photo in a blue bralette and leather pants and I really like it in color. However, as a woman who is a rape and abuse survivor, I’ve made the photo black and white. There is currently a challenge going on that calls for women to post black and white selfies on Instagram with the hashtags #challengeaccepted and #womensupportingwomen. It seems that the purpose […]

Continue Reading

You may also like

The Hardest Person to Forgive

*Warning: this post contains graphic nature and references to rape. If you are under 18 or sensitive to graphic content, please do not proceed. “In order to heal, we must first forgive … and sometimes the person we must forgive is ourselves.” – Mila Bron Yesterday, I wrote about my experience of being raped. I expressed my shame, but today, I want to present a narrative of healing and finding peace. HEALING FROM TRAUMA Healing from physical trauma is often done a lot more quickly than healing from emotional trauma. Physical healing is often an automatic response from your body. You skin your knee so your body reacts and forms a scab. You break your arm and a doctor sets in a cast so that your bone can mend itself. Emotional healing requires a bit of extra work. It’s not as simple as sitting back and relaxing. It doesn’t necessarily […]

Continue Reading

You may also like

Wicked Wednesday: I Will Be Heard

*Warning: this post contains graphic nature and references to rape. If you are under 18 or sensitive to graphic content, please do not proceed. Shame tends to silence us. We don’t want others to know what causes us to feel dirty and disgusting. We don’t want to wear that disease on our sleeve. But sometimes, voicing our shame leads to freedom from the inner demons that oppress us. A lot of times, our untold truths are what breeds hate, resentment and bitterness. To contribute positivity to the world, sometimes, we need to fix what’s broken inside of us first. This is my truth… NO MEANS NO No means no unless you’ve already agreed to CNC. I wasn’t a sub at the time and there was definitely no CNC agreed upon. I was dating my ex at the time. We had gotten a hotel. Sex was fine, but anal was not. […]

Continue Reading

You may also like

Lost In Japan

It’s Friday again! Here’s another fantasy to get your panties wet. * Note: Nothing in this post is real. It is all fictional. Also, you will not see any the phrase, “my Dom” in this post. However, “gaijin” or “gaijin man” will refer to him as by now you should know, I’m Asian, but I don’t go for Asian men. I swore I would never come back to Japan. The last time was a rough experience. To be Japanese and still be a foreigner, it’s a bit rough. How did I let my boss talk me into coming here to settle someone else’s affairs? I’m not even fluent; I’ll surely get lost over here. I just finished up with the bank. Looks like I’ll be here for a few more days. I can’t cook at the hotel so I guess I’ll be looking for something to eat for dinner tonight. […]

Continue Reading

You may also like

You Breathe Life Into Me

I may be young, but I’ve been through my share of battles. From abuse, to loss, to many health scares…life hasn’t dealt me such an easy hand. For a while, I felt like I was stuck. It was always another day with the same old shit. I was a bit broken. I tried to fix myself with masking tape, but it was always a temporary fix. I was barely living. It was as if I was set on repeat. Suffocating in the toxicity of my own mind as I never learned to cope with things. Instead, I’d run from them and pretend that I never felt pain. But when past traumas bleed into your present, they simply cannot be ignored. To heal, but not harden is not always an easy task. I go from one extreme to another…from bleeding to keloids (I actually do have a few keloids haha). When […]

Continue Reading

You may also like

Manipulation & Abuse

A few years ago, I met a man who seemed pretty amazing at first. Turns out most of the things he had said to me were lies to entice me and draw me in. He was manipulative and abusive. It was all about his wants and that led to him raping me. He was supposed to my boyfriend; a man who was supposed to love and care about me, but he only loved and cared about himself. He was selfish and nothing was ever his fault. I was never the same after that. It’s taken a lot just to get to this point. I had told myself that I was fine, but there had been a lot of darkness buried deep inside. It wasn’t until I met my Dom that I could see how it still impacted me. I really am grateful for my Dom and that he’s been there […]

Continue Reading

You may also like