“Distance teaches us to appreciate the day we are able to spend together and it also teaches us the definition of patience. It is a reminder that every moment together is special, and every second together should be cherished.” – Unknown
Patience is huge when you are faraway from your lover. The physical distance never seems to disappear, but having to wait makes the anticipation of being with your person grow even more.
What is patience? Well, when you do a Google search, the definition is, “the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset.”
As a kid, I remember my parents telling me to have patience. I would get annoyed with waiting to be seated at restaurants or be served dinner. A hungry child is very impatient. This is what I thought it meant, but as an adult, it wasn’t such a simplistic thing. Waiting in line is one thing, but what if you have to wait for the person who puts a smile on your face, who fills you with warmth, and makes you feel cherished and wanted.
I thought I had mastered patience, but when it meant waiting months on end for that special person, it seemed as though maybe, I needed a bit more work in this area. With Sir, I waited for something that was never going to happen. Waiting to play wasn’t so much of a difficult task as waiting to hopefully see him one day was. Playtime often occurred every other weekend and going two weeks in between required me to be patient. Still, I looked forward to play all the more and it was often worth the wait.
And now, with Elliott, I have also had to wait to be with him. We don’t have a D/s relationship. He was never really into that. Though, he did like to give me naughty tasks such as sending me into a public bathroom to flash my tits. It’s still a kinky relationship of sorts. He would tell me about how he would spank me when we’re together for being so naughty. It would instantly make me a bit wet. And the times he told me about how he would fuck me made me horny indeed. I’ve craved our time together for so long and yet the wait continues.
With all of those circumstances, I once more thought that I for sure mastered patience. If I can wait this long without being with my person then surely, I am a patient person. Then, the unimaginable happens and I have to rethink this.
Deception of Patience
There will always be more dire circumstances. Patience seems to always get more difficult. They say that patience is a virtue, but does that apply to all circumstances? It doesn’t always mean you’re waiting for some sort of reward. Sometimes, you won’t receive the prize of an amazing dinner or a new toy on Christmas morning. Sometimes, we have to wait for news relating to life or death and in those circumstances, is patience still the answer?
When a child is missing, the first 48 hours are critical to the safety and wellbeing of the child. Can you really rely on being patient in this circumstance? No, definitely not.
Likewise, waiting for news about Elliott feels like an eternity. If something is wrong, I don’t want to be patient for answers. I need to know now. If he needs help, something needs to be done sooner rather than later.
I guess I’m not a patient person after all. Not a day goes by without a phone call or text. I continue to stare at my phone hoping to hear from Elliott. My frequently visited site is a Google search of his name to see if anything has happened to him.
In my impatience, I broke down today. The tears were stinging my eyes. A breakup would have been better than this because then, I would know he does not want me anymore. Not knowing what is wrong is my tormentor. Knowing that no one else has heard from him concerns me even more.
Waiting a few more months or even another year to be together would have been easier than waiting on news about whether he is okay. I am growing impatient. I just need to know.
It’s not just about waiting for the kinky time in the bedroom anymore. Now, there is so much more at stake. There’s a connection between us and the emotional side is starting to show. Waiting to see if he’s ever coming back me is not something I ever imagined.
So, I’ll just continue sit here, impatiently waiting by the phone.