EroBloPoMo - 30 Days of Culture, Tell Me About

Devious Desires

“No sex before marriage!” It’s a line that was repeated to me often. In fact, it’s a line that I still hear on a regular basis…little do they know, it’s too late for me. Hearing this line so many times caused me to suppress my sexual desires.

Today, my post is going to be a bit different. Instead of talking about culture in an ethnic sense, I’ll be incorporating religious culture.

Death of Desire

In church culture, I was taught that desire was bad. I shouldn’t desire such things as it led to coveting and that was a sin as bad as stealing. Lustful desires were the equivalent of adultery. And they said if your caused you to sin, cut it out. Of course, they didn’t mean this literally, but they meant to eliminate all temptations that could lead to sin.

So I had a low sex drive for a while. I was curious, but I wasn’t thirsty. And I did everything I could to separate myself from such temptations. It was a death to my desires and for so long, I didn’t even know I had any.

Religious cultures paints sexual desire as something bad. But I think it also created an unquenchable thirst later in life. I went from sheltered to desperate overnight and now, I just can’t get enough. Maybe it caused a death to my desire, but the long term effect was the resurrection of that desire in tenfolds.

Dangerous Desire

After over two decades of being told to kill my desires, “dangerous” desires began to unfold. I began to crave a life of BDSM. It was ironic because I had not yet had sex, but I began to desire being used sexually. The desire for women was also born and it scared me.

For a bit, I was scared that I was lesbian because I didn’t know how I would be able to explain that to my parents. Turns out, I’m actually bisexual. My fantasies were more so about women using me. I desired to be used and by multiple people. My google search would include sex clubs because I desired to offer my body to several people at once.

Maybe my fantasies got a bit dangerous.

Deviating Desires

As I became sexually active, my desires grew even more so. I deviated from church culture and did what I wanted. My desires have now also deviated from what they once were.

Age might play a role in the change. But, my desires have seemed to tame in some areas and grow in other areas. I no longer desire to offer my body to strangers at a sex club (thankfully, I never did that). But I do desire sexual humiliation which is why I have a desire to let others see my naked body. This explains why I post nudes on my blog, on Twitter and on Fetlife.

At the current moment, I desire my CL. It’s not just in a sexual way either. While I do desire to have a lot of sex with him, I also just want to be close to him. Kisses and cuddles from CL are things that I really long for.

My desire for women hasn’t changed. I still have a desire to be dominated by another woman and be forced to sexually please her.

sass c.

Image from Unsplash

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EroBloPoMo

sass c.

i'm just your average girl with a dirty mind. young, asian and submissive...does that pique your interest? constantly in a battle with myself whether to stay confined by my cultural values or to break free like the freak i am.

Instagram: @thesassysubdaily
Twitter: @sassysubdaily

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6 Comments

  1. It was really interesting to see how your desires have changed and developed over time. It is also fascinating the role that our experience plays in shaping them I think. missy x

  2. I’m kind of envious of that CL.

  3. I think if more people freed themselves to enjoy what feels good then gender becomes less important.
    ps. You look great nude…no humiliation❤

  4. […] week I would like to highlight the post Devious Desires by Sass C. In her piece Sass takes us though her darkest desires and shows how they change and […]

  5. I think we are forever learning more about ourselves, and that helps our desires to develop and change as we go through life, and this post of yours is evident of that 🙂
    ~ Marie

  6. Culture and religion have such weird and dangerous ways of stifling us “for our own good.” And as we all know…forbidden fruit tastes sweet.

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