Chapter 5 – Every Guy Wants to Deflower the Virgin
I stayed fairly innocent for a long time. At 24, I had still yet to kiss a guy. Never held a guy’s hand. Never had a second date. I longed for someone to look at me with a sparkle in his eyes. I wanted someone to see me as the girl he wanted to marry someday. I was looking for this fairy tale ending that I know now doesn’t exist. What they call this is the heterosexual imaginary. As a young girl, I watched movies about the handsome prince saving the damsel in distress, falling in love, then happily ever after. We’ve created this imagery that the girl has to be weak and the man has to be strong. A girl cannot save herself and ultimately needs a man to do all of the heavy lifting. That is complete bull shit. A woman can be powerful. A woman can be strong. A man doesn’t always have to keep his shit together. And a man is allowed to cry. Fuck what the media has ingrained in your head.
I met a guy on Coffee Meets Bagel. He was Asian, but tall and somewhat decent looking. He didn’t live in town. He was just visiting for work which he did quite often. Even if we weren’t in the same city, it could’ve worked because his hometown was only 2 hours from mine.
He was staying at a hotel close to my office and asked me to meet him in the lobby. He greeted me there and we led me to his car so he could drive to dinner. But for the naive bunch, never get in the car with a guy you met online on your first date. We ate and chatted away. He didn’t want to end the night there so we went to get boba (for those who don’t live in Asian areas or aren’t familiar with the culture…boba are these tapioca balls that typically go into fruit/milk teas or smoothies. To go get boba insinuates that we went to get a drink…and not an alcoholic one haha).
We got our boba and he still wanted to hangout so we found ourselves on the beach in the dark. I was wearing heels so it was hard to walk so we drove back to the hotel. Me being a bit curious and feeling a bit risky accepted his invitation to go back up to his hotel room.
It was innocent at first. I sat on the corner of the bed and he sat on the couch while we watched TV. He then told me to sit with him on the couch so he could show me some YouTube videos. After one of the videos, he grabbed my hand and looked me in the eye and said that he had a question for me. He paused and my head was full of thoughts that he might be into me and want a second date. Those were the words that did not come out of his mouth. Instead I heard, “Umm do you…have to pee?”
I shook my head to say no and he let go of my hand. We watched another video. Then he asked about my tattoos. None of them visible, but wanted to see them. He unzipped the back of my dress to get a better look. He lifted the hem of my dress to see the pieces on my thighs. I was thankfully wearing blue lace panties that day. With the tattoos being on my upper thighs, I’m pretty sure he could see my cooch through my panties.
He turned to look at me said, “You’re pretty cute!” Then he grabbed my head and head butt me. Yeah, this fool that bragged about being such an amazing kisser head butt me. It was a terrible first kiss. He continued to try to kiss me then led me to the bed. He pushed me down onto the mattress. He took off all of his clothes except his black Calvin Klein boxer briefs. He unzipped my dress again and unclasped my bra and pulled down the front of my dress so he could fondle my breasts. He raised up the hem of my skirt again and began to touch me. His fingers between my folds and playing with my clit, I was scared that he would try to have sex with me that night.
I was still a virgin and I was scared it would hurt. He got mad because he didn’t have a condom and could not have sex. He continued to play with me and said, “Oh shit! You’re so fucking wet!” He kept saying he wanted to take my virginity. He wanted to be my first. This went on for about an hour. It was now 1am and I had to work the next day so he said to me that I should get home or stay in his bed. I couldn’t stay as my parents are strict so I went home and didn’t hear from him the next day. A week had gone by and I still heard nothing even after I sent him a scandalous picture of the tattoo on my leg.
I was pissed. I thought he had ghosted me so I went online and found someone to fuck. I wasn’t going to wait the rest of my life for this guy.
After I lost my virginity, he called me to tell me to come to his hotel that night. I was pissed at him, but I still went. He told me that night that he didn’t want to date me, he just wanted to fuck me. Me being the snarky bitch that I am threw in some spice and said, “Well guess what I fucked another guy yesterday so you won’t be my first!” He looked at me with surprise and said, “I kind of figured you would.” He tried to have sex with anyway, but couldn’t get it up.
He said I wasn’t getting him hard but wouldn’t allow me touch or suck this puny little cock. His cock was nearly invisible amongst the shrub line. His didn’t manscape at all so he looked like a gorilla. With a tiny dick, it was like searching the jungle for the hidden treasure. His excuse for failing to get hard was once again my fault. He had masturbated the day before thinking about taking my virginity. He said men have trouble getting hard again after they wank. But what a liar was he…he probably had ED.
He kicked me out of his room because I wasn’t a virgin anymore. I asked why he even took me on a date in the first place and his answer was, “Well, every guy wants to deflower the virgin!”
Fucking pig! To this day he’s either known as pinky penis or tic tac dick.
Image from Unsplash