Chapter 4 – When Hell Came Knocking On My Door
Before I lost my virginity, I scoured the online dating sites. I’d get so many messages simply because I was an Asian girl. The messages were pretty lame as many guys lacked the creativity to serve me a new line. So many lines about looking exotic. I honestly don’t see how I look exotic haha…I’m just your average Asian American girl. I don’t have the body of a super model and I don’t have the face of one of those little anime girls.
I was on Tinder, but I don’t know why since I was intent on saving myself for marriage at the time. Maybe I was curious or maybe I was mad at the date who basically told me I wasn’t a good enough Christian for him.
Many messages on Tinder were ignored. I got a message from this smarty pants I matched with (let’s just call him Rocky because it rhymes with cocky haha). Rocky was indeed a smarty pants. He had gone to an Ivy League school and was now some sort of scientist. Like I said before, I like a man with a working brain in his head. I must’ve been 22 at the time.
We chatted for a bit until one day, he sprung on me something he had been wanting to say. “I just want to jump your bones. I love an Asian girl with a big ass.” Then he proceeded to send me dick pics demanding some nudes in return. This is the day when hell came knocking on my door.
I had never received a dick pic before so I screamed. I immediately turned off my phone and left him hanging. What was I supposed to do about this “massive” situation?
That night, I turned my phone back on to be met with many many many messages from Rocky. “Where’d you go?” “Why are you scared?” “Come on baby girl, talk to me.” “I really want you. I’ll drive up to see you this weekend.”
I finally replied, “Is that the only reason you talked to me in the first place? You just want sex?”
An immediate response. “Well, don’t tell me you’re looking for a relationship because marriage is a scam. I was married and divorced by the age of 23. So honey, marriage isn’t in the cards for me. You’re hot. I want you so let me screw you.”
“I’m scared.” I said.
“What? Oh wait, this is priceless. You’re a virgin, aren’t you?” Rocky asked.
“Yes…I am a virgin.” I was a bit hesitant to reply.
Rocky liked that even more. He insisted that he be the one to take my virginity. I was scared shitless so I told my tattoo artist. My tattoo artist told me to shut him down so I tried to do so.
I told Rocky that I didn’t want to meet him. He insisted that I didn’t know what I wanted. He proceeded to tell me his fantasy about me.
“I’m going to drive to you and meet you at a cafe. I’ll take you to the parking lot and strip you as you stand against my car. I’ll push you down so your bent over the hood and then I plan to fuck you and take your virginity away.”
The innocent me proceeded to say, “But I don’t want an STD!”
He laughed and said he was clean but would wear a condom anyway.
“Condoms break and what if I get pregnant?”
“Then I’ll fuck your ass instead. I like doing a girl’s ass and yours is the perfect one. You’re Asian and you have a big round one.”
“But what if I don’t want it. I know that it will hurt.”
“Well, you don’t really have a say do you? I’ll rape that ass of yours if I want it and then you’ll never see me after that day.”
I insisted that he not come to see me as it would be a waste of his time. I would not be at the place he wanted to meet because I wasn’t ready. He was upset and his words were quite hostile.
I deleted Tinder that very day. He found me on multiple online dating sites over the next year. I’d ignore him. One day I had enough so I asked why he kept liking all of my profiles. He said to me, “Is it a crime to like a beautiful woman?” I said to him, “It is if all you want to do is rape her! And I know you don’t like me. Just admit it to yourself. I’m just another girl you want to chase, but once you get what you want you’ll throw me away. You don’t care about me. You only care about yourself.”
He was upset and said, “Fine, you’ll never meet a man anyway. You’re a prude and what you’re looking for will never exist.”
That wasn’t the last of him because he found me on LinkedIn. He wouldn’t leave me alone until he found himself a new Asian girl.
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