Chapter 3 – You’re Not My Brother!
I think even when I was younger, I had a thing for older guys. The thing about me is that I don’t always fall for someone’s looks, I fall for their mind. If you can debate me and engage in mind stimulating conversation, I might just fall in lust. I don’t say love because I don’t really think I’ve ever been in “real” love. I think I mostly just lust and you can definitely lust after someone’s mind.
Toward the end of my college years, I had met this guy. I thought nothing of him at first. He was just an ordinary guy and about 10 years my senior (and I wasn’t even physically attracted to him). He was Asian and I don’t really care for Asian guys…I’ve screwed a couple, but I don’t think I could date or marry one.
He heard that I would go to a coffee shop every week to study so one day he decided to show up. This became his habit and shortly after, I was not getting much studying done as we would talk for hours about anything under the sun.
One week, I ditched a bunch of classes to go on a road trip with this guy and some other friends. To this day, my parents think I was just crashing on friends’ couches that week. I drove pretty much the whole 6 hours with everyone falling asleep on me. When we reached the destination, I knocked out in the hotel room.
The whole trip, we bickered. The only other girl said that we fought like siblings. Out of that he became my “brother.”
After the road trip, we still continued to spend a lot of time together. Bickering and bantering to no end. Play fighting and teasing all the time. I fell in lust with with him.
I knew it was mutual, but he didn’t say a thing. He’d frustrate me with his lack of forwardness in that department. He started giving me mixed signals which frustrated me even more. Do you like me or not you stupid fool?
One day, he slipped up and said, “Oh Bob was just asking if this was a good idea since I had a crush on you.” He quickly covered his mouth before proceeding to say, “Oh no that was years ago.” You idiot, I didn’t know you for that long.
He avoided me for days. I was wracking my brain wondering what he meant. One day, I simply called him out and he said, “Oh, I never said that. I’m sorry if you misheard me.” He grew defensive and said, “Besides, I’m your brother.”
Inside my head, I was screaming, “No, you’re not! You’re not my brother!”
I went on another trip with him that year which ended our friendship and any feelings I had developed for him. He would flirt with other girls while I was looking. I knew he did it on purpose.
Now that I look back, I see he was another leech. He used me for money. He used me for transportation. Great girl, great! You always attract the fucking leech!
Image from Pinterest