A few days ago, I asked CL how he wanted me to pose for Monochromerotic this week. I sent him a video of me singing Nena’s 99 Red Balloons a few weeks ago and then followed up with a picture of me naked with my guitar. So he said posing naked with my guitar would make a nice Monochromerotic photo.
BODY LIKE A GUITAR
Her cradled her waist and her curves fit perfectly against him. His fingers grazed up and down her neck and made her purr. Strumming her g-string, precious music filled the air. She was his muse and he loved playing with her body.
SINGING A SAD SONG
It’s officially been a month since I last heard from Sir. He hasn’t responded to any of my messages nor has he even bothered to open them and read them. I still wish he would have wanted to at least stay a part of my life, but I guess maybe, we were never on the same page. Maybe, he played the part, but only ever saw me as a temporary play thing.
Music had been a big part of our relationship. In fact, I wrote a poem in December about Sir and it incorporated music, especially string instruments.
Your words move me like a song
As I squirm before you wearing just a thong
Pleasure and torment entangled like a knot
Obedience to you is what I was taught
I begged of you and gave you my pleas
In desperation, I was on my knees
Out the window and into the night
Fingered like a guitar for all in sight
My strings wound up like a violin
A lust for you is my darkest sin
So I stand there naked just for you
Orders from your lips, I will surely do
Overly sensitive to your touch
One little move can feel a bit too much
Pleasure overtakes as I cry in ecstasy
As you play the chords of my fantasy
I’ll keep playing after this final measure
So that it will bring you great pleasure
Forever subjected to your ploy
Bound to you as your little toy
Perhaps, he really did play me.
With him leaving, my song was rather sad. Heartbreak like breaking a string of my acoustic guitar, it doesn’t sound right as something is now missing.
Come and go now as you please
Your actions write the melodies
To the songs that we sing
And you just sing – Anberlin (Naive Orleans)
It really makes sense that his actions did impact the song I was singing.
SINGING A NEW SONG
But it’s like Anberlin sings, “And I finally found that life goes on without you. And my world still turns when you’re not around.”
I think I’m in a place where I’m starting to be alright. The song I’m singing is a new one and my days are no longer filled with thinking about him and crying. On some days, I do cry for a bit, but it’s not as hard as it was. Maybe, I am starting to let go.
Now, I have CL and he’s one of the kindest men I’ve ever encountered. And when we finally get to see each other, we’ll be making a new melody. He’s been able to bring a smile to my face even when I didn’t think it would ever make an appearance again. So I’m singing a new song and I’m happy to have found CL.
Psss…I’m letting you in on a secret…CL really does want to finger me like a guitar 😉.