“Change your conception of yourself and you will automatically change the world in which you live. Do not try to change people; they are only messengers telling you who you are. Revalue yourself and they will confirm the change.” – Neville Goddard
When I think of changing, there are several songs that come to mind. I thought of ‘This Is Me’ from The Greatest Showman and ‘Notice Me’ from Pixel Perfect. But I think the song that really sticks out is ‘Remix (I Like The)’ by New Kids On The Block.
THE YOUNG GIRL
When I was younger, I was often bullied by my peers. Sometimes, it was for being Asian and other times it was because I wasn’t stick skinny. The worst was being bullied for being me.
I went to school that was in a not so good neighborhood as that’s where I lived at the time. School was something that caused me mental distress and I often begged to go elsewhere. In my grade, there were only four of us Asian girls and we didn’t fit in. So I tried to be friends with the Asian girls but some of other girls didn’t like that so they drove a wedge between us.
I didn’t look like one of those cute anime girls and I always felt like the ugly duckling at school. Try to picture a middle school girl who has acne, braces, glasses and is a bit chunky. Yup, that was me. And I wore sunglasses that made me look like Ozzy Osborne.
She was that girl in the corner
Every time she passed us, ever the outcast
Had no flava, but who got the last laugh, hey – New Kids On The Block (Remix)
That verse definitely sums me up rather well.
CHANGE FROM A GIRL TO A WOMAN
That period of change called adolescence is quite awkward. No one really like us when we’re teenagers. And those days were somewhat of a nightmare for me.
Always came last
No one ever kissed her
Missing for days, but nobody missed her
She went from wallpaper to heartbreaker
You should’ve seen her, hoo
In high school, all of my peers would date each other, get asked to dances, and most likely had their first kisses. But, that wasn’t me. I still hadn’t met the standard of being ‘pretty’ so there was no way a guy would want me. So I didn’t go to dances. I didn’t even go to prom.
I think I was a late bloomer because my first date came well after I graduated from university. It was a terrible date and we never talked again.
Baby I like the new you, hoo
I like the remix baby
But I changed. The way I dressed changed and I began wearing makeup and actually brushing my hair.
My first kiss came a year after my first date and that was year I lost my virginity. And I went on a dating spree that year haha. Who knew I’d ever become a serial dater, but I did.
SASS C – THE PRODUCT OF CHANGE
The woman I am today is nothing like the little girl, I once was.
Now her body’s so crazy, got mad attention
Everybody wants her, I forgot to mention
My baby’s so intelligent, down with it, independent, got it all
I will admit that I do not have the body of a super model, but I feel as though once I embraced my kinky side, I attracted different sorts of people. Life is different.
I like the new you, forget about the old school
I love the sexy thing you turned into
So gimme the v2, some of that love fuel
I like the beat, that your body moves to, moves to
And now, I’m sure that CL is probably glad that sass c. came into existence. He most likely wouldn’t have liked the girl I was even ten years ago. Well, I probably wouldn’t have talked to him ten years ago because I was so sheltered that I might have been scared away haha. But I’m glad that I’ve become who I am today.
Image by Ross Findon on Unsplash