Tell Me About

Intimacy Of The Body And Heart

“It is not time or opportunity that is to determine intimacy;—it is disposition alone. Seven years would be insufficient to make some people acquainted with each other, and seven days are more than enough for others.” – Jane Austen (Sense and Sensibility)

There are some people who have known me my whole life, yet don’t know a single intimate detail about me. Then there are others who have known me for less than a week, yet it feels like a lifetime. As Jane Austen said, it’s not a matter of time that determines the level of intimacy with others, but nature of the relationship itself.

THE PHYSICAL ACT

When you hear the word intimacy, what do you think of? I can bet that most people would think of a sexual act. You’re naked with another person(s) and you are sharing parts of your body that you normally don’t share with others.

In that moment, your body are fused together as one. That seems pretty intimate to me.

Your legs are tangled together and you’re cuddling after sex. Skin on skin, he rubs her back and thumbs her cheek. It all seems rather intimate.

But I think this is the easy part for me. I do get scared that when I take off my clothes, he won’t like what he sees. Maybe, my body is too flawed for him to find it attractive. However, I take off my clothes anyway and put myself on display.

I show him my physical flaws and maybe just maybe, if he still wants me, I’ll open up and show him all of me.

EMOTIONAL INTIMACY

So he’s know seen the parts of my body that I tried to hide and he hasn’t gone running for the hills. But do I open my heart to him?

Emotional intimacy is a lot harder to achieve. The stakes are raised as it’s heartbreak that you risk this time. Do you want to show all your cards to this person? Is heartbreak worth the risk?

Emotional intimacy on a bright and sunny day, is quite amazing. You feel so at home with the other person. But when the storms rise and wreak havoc on the relationship (whether it’s romantic or just a friendship), it doesn’t feel so great. Suddenly, you fear the backstabbing, the abandonment, and the hurt.

So is it worth it? I can’t say for sure because it depends on each person you enter a relationship with.

Many have seen my naked body, but few have been granted access to my heart. I am rather closed off and I like my privacy. When it’s right, I hand you the key and let you see the darkness that lives inside of me.

INTIMACY WITH A STRANGER

But time does not determine the level of intimacy. You could be friends your entire life and never let them see your true colors. However, there are some you meet and pour out your heart to in an instant. It’s a matter of who makes you feel like you’re coming home.

Sir was/is practically a stranger, yet emotionally, I was more intimate with him than those I’ve known my entire life. In Sir, I had found a home. It wasn’t a physical home, but I felt safe and protected. He was my shelter from the storm. The physical side was lacking due to him being in Europe, but with the sexting, we tried.

With lover, there is an abundance of physical intimacy, but the emotional side is lacking on his part. He holds back and I never know what’s going on in his head. I only know the shell of him and what he wants me to see. Sometimes, I think it’s a sign that he doesn’t actually love me, but wants me when he wants sex.

With this blog, there are a lot of intimate details about me and pictures of my naked body, but is it intimacy? I don’t quite think so. You see, you may get to see into my dirty little life, but you don’t know who I am. I hide my face.

But I’ve shown my face to just one and that in and of itself was the first really intimate act with someone who follows this blog. Then I shared my name and that was trusting that person with even more of myself. Physically and emotionally stripped before this person. It truly is intimacy with a stranger.

Yours Truly,
sass c.

Tell Me About - Intimacy
Monochromerotic - Intimacy

sass c.

i'm just your average girl with a dirty mind. young, asian and submissive...does that pique your interest? constantly in a battle with myself whether to stay confined by my cultural values or to break free like the freak i am.

Instagram: @thesassysubdaily
Twitter: @sassysubdaily

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21 Comments

  1. Intimacy comes in many forms, and I like how you have separated the physical from the emotional intimacy. I think the latter is much harder to achieve.
    Love that image, Sass!
    ~ Marie

    1. I think by separating them, feelings aren’t hurt as easily. Physical attraction isn’t the same as emotional attraction so I separate them to prevent myself from ever getting attached to a one night stand.

  2. Trust your heart in matters of intimacy.

    1. I try…which is why I only trusted one person to show my face to. 😊

    2. Good read Sassy and I agree that time isn’t necessarily a factor in how well someone knows you. I’m not great at trusting people and being emotionally intimate, but it does mean the few people I do have this deeper connection mean a great deal to me.

      1. I’m terrible when it comes to trust. It’s why I only have two real friends in the vanilla world. Everyone else is on the outside looking in.

  3. howie1320 says:

    Very deep and well written sass. I enjoy the way you think🤔❤

    1. Thank you Howie!

  4. I agree about the stranger – sometimes it is easier to bare your soul to someone who does not know u so well.
    Loving the image – the lace looks great on you
    May x

    1. Thanks! I think the people we’ve known for a while have preconceived judgments about us so when we open about things that make our lives seem so much different than what they thought, it opens up more opportunities for criticism about how we live our lives.

  5. It was interesting the way that you broke things down and explained how you are with different people. I can also understand the fear in taking that chance and how hard it is to let go under those circumstances. Great post. Missy x

    1. It’s easier to keep things at a surface level, but to dive into the deep end…it’s possibly one of the scariest things one can do. The potential to flop and get hurt is high and so is the potential that you might just break. And the fear of getting hurt again sometimes blinds me from seeing something great.

  6. I have found it easier to be open with someone I have fewer connections with. But over time I’ve changed to become nor open generally. Having that freedom to do so is worth the risks as far I’m concerned.

    1. For me, it’s been one step forward and two steps back. Maybe, I just choose the wrong people to be open with.

  7. Intimacy begins when you truly begin to know someone, develop trust, and share not just an image but your thoughts. I do like what you have put on display here, MsSass, and trust me, I would not be running for the hills.

    1. I liked this post and wanted to read it and see you again..

    2. Yes, definitely. I think most people who call me a friend only know me by what they’ve seen on my Instagram which says absolutely nothing about me besides what I look like. But I wouldn’t turn to any of them in times of need because they don’t really know me.

      And with words like that Mr., you’ll have me swooning.

  8. This is a really sexy picture of you! And I think that there are so many different levels of intimacy that we have in our lives, it doesn’t even have to be with lovers. I personally find physical intimacy in general easier with a partner, and emotional intimacy to be the more important experience for my connection with someone.

    1. Thanks! And definitely. It’s why I keep my friend circle rather small. It’s hard to be that open with so many different people. But when the emotional intimacy is deep, the bond is also strong.

  9. Great pictures, very sexy, and lovely words to go with it. A real insight.

    1. Thank you! 🙏🏻

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