Saga of a Sad Submissive, Sir and sass

Questions From The Heart

Sir,

If you’re reading this which I think you are, I just don’t understand why you didn’t just have less time for me, but you started to completely ignore me. Did you want me to decide for myself that I want out? Was that your intention? Because it feels worse than if you just told me we’re through. Now, I fear people will just disappear on me without a trace.

I’m scared that people will continue to abandon me until I’m all alone.

Is this hard for you too? Because it just doesn’t seem fair that I can barely function without you.

I’m terrified about what’s happening to me and before, you were always there. Now, I have to face them alone because I don’t even know if you still care.

Thankfully, no one has been in the office because I cannot contain my tears. I cry everyday because this is just too hard for me.

When did it all go wrong? At what point did you stop wanting me? Was I not fun to play with anymore? Not sexy enough for you? Am I that undesirable?

Because something changed and it wasn’t me. I never stopped needing you. I’ve always tried to impress and to do my best to submit to you.

Maybe this pandemic changed the way you see me. I guess I’ll never know. But I miss the days when you would take interest in my days and my dreams. And I miss being able to tell you about the good and the bad. I miss laughing with you and lighting up with a smile when I saw your name pop up on my screen.

Why was it so sudden?

I don’t know how to distract myself from you.

Eight months and I don’t even get a goodbye.

And if you told me you still wanted me, without hesitation I’d come running back to you. I got attached to you and without, it feel like losing a limb. There’s phantom pains from feeling like you are still here and knowing that you’re not.

So what do I do? How do I heal? How am I supposed to cope without you?

Yours Truly…

sass c.

i'm just your average girl with a dirty mind. young, asian and submissive...does that pique your interest? constantly in a battle with myself whether to stay confined by my cultural values or to break free like the freak i am.

Instagram: @thesassysubdaily
Twitter: @sassysubdaily

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7 Comments

  1. I thought things were going well for you two. Did you have an misunderstanding or has he just gone silent? Simon used to go silent on me and leave me in anguish (I think that’s when he was trying to hide something) but he always came back to me. However, each silence weakened our relationship. I learnt that I did not have the stamina to keep on enduring that behaviour.

    1. One day he was there and the next day he was gone. I cried because I thought he blocked me. A week later he said something, but not much. After that he’d read my messages, but never said a word. Then it became me sending messages and they were never even read.

      1. It sounds like it has been tough. Waiting for messages to be read, being blocked, silence…it is pure torment.

        Please make sure Sass that you are not letting it suck all the joy out of life for you. Make sure you do the things you enjoy. You need emotional strength and lots of wonderful in your life to be able to deal with the ups and downs of someone else.

      2. I feel like every person around me has taken me for an emotional roller coaster lately. I can’t exactly count of my best friends as one can’t handle the serious things and the other goes silent for a while as she’s dealing with her own things.

      3. Sass, anyone with a real sex life is on an emotional roller coaster. For some sex is just like eating lunch (I might dare to say sex had become kind of routine to Simon) but for the rest of us sex is a powerful influence on our emotions. Hopes, dreams, desire, hunger, neediness, anxiety, shame, guilt, paranoia, loneliness – it takes a toll on our emotions.

        I think sometimes our friends can’t handle the drama we are going through. That’s ok, go to them for relief from the drama. Having friends you can just have fun with and switch off the emotional turbulence can be helpful too.

        It’s good if you do have an avenue to talk when you need it. Maybe there are other bloggers that find it easier to understand the rollercoaster of a sexual tension and the complexities of two human beings trying to work out the way they can both thrive in a relationship.

        I feel I am enjoying a lot of stability because Ben and I are so settled, but we still go through our ups and downs. The bond between us is strong, but if one says something to the other that makes them insecure or jealous or not appreciated or a sense of blame it throws everything off kilter. We have to work on letting the rift heal. I think we have both learnt that if we are realistic, understanding and balanced, trying not to overreact or become insecure things are easier. The difference it makes on seeing each other every day is helpful. It means we can agree to shelve an upset/disagreement and then over time our feelings fade and we can’t remember why we were upset with each other.

      4. If COVID didn’t close everything down, I’d be traveling or shopping to take my mind off of things. I think I feel the impact of this more so because of quarantine and the loneliness that has come as a result of it.

      5. You are so right about that. It has been an intense time and we have all been stuck spending a lot more time than normal with our own thoughts.

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