“Oral sex is one of the most intimate sex acts you can take part in, and in many ways it can feel more intimate than penetrative sex. It is a vulnerable act in which you relinquish control of your most private and sensitive body part to your partner.” – Elle Chase
It seems as though oral sex is different for men and women. Men seem to receive it far more than women do. My knowledge only extends to my observations in encounters between a cisgender man and a cisgender woman (that’s the only kind of sex I’ve had), but it may be different for others.
DISPARITY OF ORAL SEX
I often wondered why men expect to receive oral sex, but don’t want to reciprocate. But I guess this doesn’t just happen to me. Maybe, a lot of women share the same sentiment.
Even if there is no penetrative sex at all, often times, men have expected a blow job after a dinner date. Every guy I’ve had sex with has received a blow job, but the number of guys that have gone down on me is strikingly low.
I’ve given eleven different guys blow jobs, but it has only been reciprocated by four of them. And if I had sex with that partner multiple times, it’s likely that I gave oral sex more times than they returned the favor.
ORAL SEX AND SOCIETAL NORMS
I think this is partially due to societal norms. A guy can pretty much expect oral sex during sexy time, but for a woman it’s a rarity. The societal norm is placed on a male’s pleasure more so than a female’s pleasure. Therefore, it’s more acceptable for a man to skip out on going down on a female.
But some of my female friends have mentioned that they couldn’t imagine anyone wanting to go down there. They stated it’s gross and dirty. I think it goes to show how society has wrecked how women see their bodies especially the more intimate areas. As women, we are marketed products to clean our cunts and make them smell better. This distorts perceptions of what our bodies can do naturally on its. We are taught to be ashamed of the various fluids and smells.
I remember watching the movie Easy A. Emma Stone was pretending to have sex with this one nerdy guy because he didn’t want people to know he was gay. The door was closed and they were pretending to have oral sex when he yells out, “Do you smell that?” Emma Stone’s character scolds him for saying that and he tries to correct himself by saying, “It doesn’t smell that bad.”
Does this mean that society wants us to believe that men have some golden magical penis and women have beefy smelly vaginas? I think adds to the pressures we place on ourselves. As a woman, I am self-conscious when I have sex and maybe it’s because this is what I was taught.
I like giving blowjobs. There’s no doubt about that. The only time that I hate it is when the man takes a million years to be satisfied. I remember sucking cocks for 15-20 minutes because anything else happened. My jaw was sore and they wanted me to keep going.
But for the longest time, I never knew what it felt like to have someone go down on me. The day I met a guy who said he’d want to taste my cunt, I started drinking pineapple juice and cranberry juice on a daily basis. Everyone had to hold that it would make me cunt taste better so that’s what I did. The day I had sex with him, I spent most of the time sucking his cock and he spent maybe 30 seconds to a minute flicking my clit with his tongue. I was rather disappointed.
My ex went down on me once and never wanted to do it again, but he made me suck his cock. He said oral sex on a girl was disgusting. But he always tore down my body so I believed my cunt be disgusting.
Last December, a few days before things started with Sir, I had sex in the back of a car with guy from Tinder. He spent most of the time eating me out and this was the first time, I got glimpse of how good it felt. This guy even went to town on my ass. Who knew a tongue probing your ass would feel so amazing. He ended up dumping me on Christmas Eve.
LOVER OF ORAL SEX
Now, I have lover. The first time we had sex, neither of us went down on each other. He was just so eager to fuck my cunt after all the sexual tension had built up for a couple of weeks.
The next time we saw each other, we spent time exploring oral sex. Sucking his cock wasn’t such a big deal to me, but I was nervous about him eating me out. For a whole week, he had told me how much he wanted to taste me. I wasn’t drinking pineapple juice and I was on my period. For sure, I thought it would be bad. But he left my tampon in and used his tongue on my clit. I remember the thoughts going through my head. “He knows I’m on my period, but if it smells like something dead?” It really scared me. He later watched me take my tampon out and then set down a towel so he could fuck me.
The third time, I was not on my period and he spent a lot of time using his tongue to explore my cunt. He’d hold me down while his head was between my legs. I was squirming and yelping. He told me to be quiet so the neighbors didn’t hear. After this, he kisses me and wants to get into 69. I think this position is hard for me because when he’s eating me out, it’s difficult to concentrate on sucking his cock. My head is thrown back from the pleasure and his cock is no longer in my mouth.
I was worried that he wouldn’t want to have oral sex with me again. A part of me thought that I tasted gross. So I asked him if he really liked how I tasted. He said he did and I asked him if he could describe it. In the past guys have lied to me and said it tasted like strawberries haha. I knew lover was telling the truth because he said, “I don’t know. It’s like I can definitely tell that I tasting pussy, but yours has a hint of citrus.” I asked if that was a good or bad thing. Lover told me that he liked how I tasted.
I think this is why even being attracted to girls, I’ve been afraid to have sex with another girl. It’s the taste of cunt that freaks me out. But I think knowing that lover likes the taste gives me a bit more confidence to try. So maybe one day, I’ll be able to right about an experience going down on another girl.
Image from Pixabay