Wicked Wednesday

The Frame Is Breaking

“You can frame a moment. But you can’t frame life.” – Armin Hounan

I had intended to write part three of the story I was writing, but I’m not in the right mindset.

FRAME THE MOMENT

Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
Five hundred twenty-five thousand moments so dear…
How do you measure, measure a year?

Seasons of Love – Rent

A year is made up five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes and I spent over half of those minutes thinking about Sir, talking to Sir, or playing with Sir. We shared so many minutes and so many moments.

Somehow I wish, I could capture all those moments, frame them, and freeze time because they maybe, those moments would never end. Moments are only as important as those we share them with, but they’re only temporary. And a moment never will last a lifetime; only the memories can.

I wish so hard that I could keep the good moments and toss out the bad. Right now is one of those moments that doesn’t deserve a frame.

I think back to when I became Sir’s submissive. I’ve never been much of a people person and I’ve always kept to myself, but Sir got me to open up. He got me laughing and smiling and made me feel something that I didn’t know I could feel. Maybe it was lust, maybe it was genuine joy, or maybe it was even love. That is a moment worthy of keeping.

WHEN THE FRAME BREAKS

Growing up, I’ve knocked things over including picture frames and then they shattered. Perhaps, life is similar as we have a series of frames and sometimes things go wrong and life just seems hopeless.

The frame is broken right now and perhaps, it has been broken for a while. Maybe, it started to crack over a month ago when Sir was going to end things. I tried to hard to repair it and it seemed like things would hold, but in the end, it’s wasn’t enough.

Handling broken glass often times leads to you getting cut and leaves you hurt and bleeding for a bit. I guess that’s what happened, I got cut. The wounds have been open again and here is my bloody heart.

THE GHOST ON THE WALL

Where the frame once hung is an empty space. It’s a lonely space, but there’s nothing that can quite replace the frame that broke. So it sits there haunting you. You wonder what you could have done differently to prevent it from breaking.

The answer never comes because this time around he ghosted me. Now, he’s just a ghost on the wall. Do I move on? Am I supposed to wait? What if he’s just busy right now? What if I do still belong to him?

The ghosts leave me with more questions, more confusion. Can a ghost love? Was there ever an inkling of love for me? How do you connect without someone who isn’t even there?

Can he hear me? Or has he muted every word I say? We’ve always been on two different planes. Our only connection was the frame that once hung on that now empty wall.

THE FRAME THAT HOLDS US TOGETHER

When I originally started writing this post, I was like a shattered frame. I couldn’t quite put the pieces of my life together as they were in disarray. But last night, I finally heard from Sir and it finally felt like the frame was no longer empty. Yes, there are still cracks in this frame as this relationship seems to be far from perfect.

Maybe, we have moved past the honeymoon phase of the relationship and these are the moments that will make us or break us. I do hope that this frame continues to hold even with the dents, scratches, and cracks. We’re two imperfect people and I have to remember that. His definition of busy may not be the same as mine. I have to understand that he has more responsibilities than I do, but I hope that I don’t have to wait over a week to hear from him again.

The waiting becomes unbearable as I do need my Sir. Perhaps, he is like the wooden frame and I am like the glass. I am fragile while he being the wood is more sturdy and always quite unique. He is the support that holds me together and without him, I am vulnerable to break.

Yours Truly,
The Sassy Sub Daily

Image from Unsplash

Wicked Wednesday - Frame

sass c.

i'm just your average girl with a dirty mind. young, asian and submissive...does that pique your interest? constantly in a battle with myself whether to stay confined by my cultural values or to break free like the freak i am.

Instagram: @thesassysubdaily
Twitter: @sassysubdaily

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10 Comments

  1. I feel for you Sass – hope u dont have to wait that long again
    May x

    1. I hope not either. It was torture. It felt like I was being punished in the worst possible way with no clue as to what I did wrong.

  2. Amazing 👍

  3. I hope you shared with him how it made you feel and he agreed not to do that to you again.

    I told my Sir that not hearing from him, or using silence as a punishment, is a hard limit for me because it triggers feelings of abandonment. He has always respected that. Your Sir should too.

    As your Dom, your mental well being is his responsibility. He took that on when he accepted your submission. If he can no longer honour that responsibility, he needs to let you know and release you.

    1. I’m pretty sure he read my blog post. He’s been a bit more attentive after I posted it. But things are different than they used to be. I miss the days when we would talk all day and all night to the point where he’d tell me to go to sleep. I miss the days when he’d give me a kinky task to do during the workday. I miss the spontaneous playtimes. It seems like quarantine has gotten in the way of all of those things as he’s always working now.

      1. Being “pretty sure he read my blog” and communicating your feelings, needs, etc are two different things.
        It could be that you’re afraid of the answer. I understand that. But personally, I would want to know where I stand with someone.
        It seems as though your gut is trying to tell you something that maybe you don’t want to hear.

  4. Oh, this is so painful. In all of it, it’s the ghosting that gets me. It’s one thing to end a relationship; another entirely to disappear. And still, he remains your “Sir.” It makes my heart ache just a smidge. Ghosting is bad behavior. Period.

    1. I’ve been ghosted and I’ve also ghosted before. I’ve never ghosted someone after a date or establishing some form of relationship though. That tends to be when the guy ghosts me. But those didn’t really impact me as it didn’t mean much, but after several months of bonding with someone, it feels painful.

  5. Between your lines, reading your words, I feel your despair, your pain, but also your hope. I hope things work out the way you want them too, Sass. You deserve to be happy. Love the way you used the frame and glass to describe what you feel.
    ~ Marie

    1. I think things are just harder since I don’t know if I’ll ever get to see him. The distance sucks and at first, it was fine, but with COVID and the rest of the world banning the US, it seems like there will never be a day when I do get to see him. So when there’s silence, it feels like maybe he doesn’t want me anymore.

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