“Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, it’s a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope, and that enables you to laugh at life’s realities.” – Dr. Seuss
FANTASY AND CHILDHOOD
When I was a kid, fantasy meant having an imaginary friend. I still remember my imaginary friend was named Johnny. How the name Johnny came about is unknown to me, but I remember I used to play with him when I was younger than five. I think the existence of my imaginary friend ended when I was about six years old. Another part of my fantasy world was playing house. I would pretend that I was a mom with a handsome husband and kids of my own.
But at the same time, I had more outlandish fantasies. I didn’t dream up fairies and princesses, though, I often wished that I was Cinderella. Instead, I had nightmares of witches, ghosts, demons and the boogeyman. In a way, these nightmares prepared me for the realities of the world. As a kid, you’re not so aware of the dangers around you, but my nightmares taught me to afraid and to be cautious.
Back then, I don’t think fantasy enabled me to “laugh at life’s realities.” Now, that I think about in retrospect, I do laugh at the outlandishness of those nightmares. Of course, witches didn’t exist. There wasn’t going to be an ugly green thing trying to put a curse on me.
FANTASY AND ADULTHOOD
Now, a fantasy world can come to life in my daydreams. They aren’t so outlandish as they were in my childhood. I daydream about more practical things like being able to afford a house, getting married, having kids and growing old with my future husband. In the past, it seemed more ridiculous because my future husband didn’t even have a face. Now, I can put a face on him and he looks a lot like my lover.
Maybe, these do help me “laugh at life’s realities.” Where I live, the housing market is terrible. Most houses cost $1 million for a half decent home. If you want to live in a dangerous area, you may get away with a house being $650k. Property taxes are rather high and the cost of living seems to be higher here than it is in every other state. My salary doesn’t even make the cut in what one would need to qualify to buy a home. It won’t even pay for rent for a one bedroom apartment. If only my daydream could easily come true, but it can’t because reality is that our system favors the really rich and the really poor and unfortunately, screws over the middle working class.
I guess I also dreamed of waiting until my wedding day to give up my virginity. But that’s long gone. I gave it up to a tinder date years ago and since then, have been rather a slut. It’s truly laughable how ironic life is.
However, when I think of the word “fantasy”, the most common thing that comes to mind is sex. My ultimate sexual fantasy is one that involves D/s. It always involves Sir and all the ways he would sexually use me. There’s a plethora of one-on-one time with him and it’s all face-to-face. Hence why, I used to write Fantasy Friday posts.
But, this is just a fantasy because the reality is that it will most likely never happen. Sir has been ignoring me so even though five months ago, it seemed more likely, now it just feels like a distant dream. It doesn’t mean that I don’t still hope that I will get to see him one day and have crazy hot sex with him, but I feel like it never will. He’s become too busy for me and it feels like my forever as his sub may be ending.
The Sassy Sub Daily
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