Prompt 5 for No True Way is about blind trust.
“A submissive shouldn’t question a Dominant’s orders.
It’s not a submissive’s position to know what a dominant’s reasons are.
They should just do it and trust the dominant with that decision.”
I decided to search blind trust on Google and the following definition is what popped up: a financial arrangement in which a person in public office gives the administration of private business interests to an independent trust in order to prevent conflict of interest. Under the trust, the owner does not know how the assets are managed.
When it comes to a relationship, especially a D/s relationship, blind trust means something entirely different.
WHAT IS BLIND TRUST
According to Steven Stosny, PhD, “Blind trust puts faith in someone without regard to demonstrated reliability or trustworthiness.” In a world where online dating is so prominent, an example of this would be, having your match pick you up at home for your first date. You’ve never met the person and you don’t know much about them besides the fact that they were smoking hot when your swiped right on Tinder. How do you know this person isn’t a crazed stalker or an ax murderer? Who has vouched for your date?
I’ve never let a date pick me up from my house because I don’t want them to know where I live. Now, that doesn’t mean that I haven’t done stupid things like go to their place or hotel when meeting them for the first time because I absolutely have. But when I meet a guy for the first time even if it’s just for sex, I always let at least one person know where I am and who I will be with.
BLIND TRUST IN D/s RELATIONSHIPS
Blind trust in a vanilla relationship is dangerous, but I think it’s even more dangerous in a D/s dynamic. One of the biggest foundations in a D/s relationship is trust. A submissive places their safety in the hands of their Dominant. If the Dominant has never proven that they can be trusted then they could very well just be manipulating you.
Unfortunately, there are some so called “Dominants” who aren’t really Dominants. Instead, they are those who prey on others who seem vulnerable. I think that sometimes, a submissive can be an easy target for this type of person.
Sir once told me that sometimes narcissists pose as Dominants and take advantage of submissives. As a submissive, I am attracted to that dominance and control. However, sometimes, it’s a disguise and the person beneath it is manipulative and cunning.
For this reason, I think that questioning your Dominant’s orders at the beginning of a relationship is okay. You haven’t built that trust yet and as the submissive, you are in control. By that, I mean, a submissive chooses who to submit to and how much they want to submit. Sir only has as much control as I give him.
If you think something will cause you harm, then question it. Question orders that don’t follow your limits. You’ve discussed limits and boundaries or you should have and if a Dominant doesn’t respect that, it’s a red flag. They’re there to take you to the edge of your limits, but they should not break them or pressure you to break them.
SUBMISSION AND SIR
I trust Sir quite a bit. We could even go as far as saying that if someone were to make a life or death decision for me, I’d want it to be him. He is wise and he knows the real me.
I’ve been vulnerable with Sir and he has not exploited that. Instead, he’s used that to better understand how to care for me. So if we were playing in person, I know that he would hurt me, but never harm me. He would cause me pain, but never injure me. I believe he is honest with me and has my best intentions in mind. And that belief hasn’t led to any betrayal in the past eight months of being his submissive.
This is why trust is so important and I don’t think blind trust is really trust. Sometimes, I talk about breaking my limits for Sir. He didn’t pressure me to break them, but I found him worthy of my trust so I chose to break my limits. It was a genuine trust and breaking my limit allowed me to become vulnerable with Sir.
I got extremely lucky. Sir isn’t manipulative and he hasn’t betrayed my trust. However, it’s not always the case with others. Many have betrayed my trust in the past and the more you believe in someone, the more the betrayal hurts.
The Sassy Sub Daily
Image from Pixabay
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