“When you open your heart with a quiet mind love rushes in.” – Genevieve Gerard
The last prompt of Mrs Fever’s Summer Writing Project is an open one.
I OPEN MY EYES
I open my eyes each morning and think about my lover. Pinpointing the exact moment I fell in love with him is a bit of a difficult task. It was a culmination of events that led to the desire to spend my life with him.
I’ve never been in love before so falling in love was something new and I didn’t know what was going on. Something was changing and I was rather confused. Why did I miss him so much? I didn’t understand why I suddenly needed his comfort in bed when I always liked having the bed to myself.
I OPEN MY HEART
The possibility of loving someone seemed so distant. I had been hurt significantly by someone who claimed he loved me. If that was love, then why would I want anything to do with it?
I let people into my life before only to have them betray me. Why would I want to open my heart to someone and let them in again? Was the pain of betrayal worth it?
Slowly, I began to warm up to lover. It wasn’t just sex anymore; it was something more. When we first started dating, we agreed that it was casual, but casual turned into exclusive and long term. It was no longer a one off or just a booty call.
Soon, the ‘I miss you’s started. We’d exchange those words everyday we were apart. At first, he didn’t believe when I said I miss you. But, I’d cling to him just a bit tighter or a bit longer than I did before. My eyes changed as well and were full of longing when my eyes met his.
It wasn’t necessarily words spoken to show my heart was now open to him. Instead, it was how much I had come to trust him and how vulnerable I made myself around him.
I FALL IN LOVE
Trust and love went hand in hand. When I decided to open my heart to lover, I began to have more intense feelings for him. It wasn’t an exact moment, but more something that happened over a series of moments.
Maybe, it started at the beginning of lockdown. We fought about not being able to see each other. I thought it was the end for us because I thought he was going to give up on us that easily. It was the first time I realized just how much I wanted and needed him so I told him that I didn’t want to be without him. He decided to video chat with me and we made up.
When my ex tried to come back into the picture, lover was there for me and made sure I was safe. There was also time when I needed him to come rescue me and he showed up, no questions asked. He’s been there for me when I was scared. He laughs with me when something funny is said or done. Lover always manages to make me smile and has me screaming in bed.
I don’t know the exact moment I fell in love with him, but I did.
The Sassy Sub Daily
Image from Pixabay
To see all the memories that made it into my memoir this summer, please click here.