“Wherever you go, there you are! You can’t run away from yourself, or the underlying situation, no matter where you go. You won’t find happiness anywhere, unless it’s already there in your heart, and therefore you have carried it with you.” – Andrew James Pritchard
I am the kind of person who likes to run away from my problems. This was a normal solution to all of life’s crises and it left a mountain of problems to face all at once.
RUN AWAY FROM FEELINGS
Physical pain is easy and it’s not necessarily something that I’ll run away from. But, when it comes to emotional pain, I just want to flee because it’s too much. For so long, I turned off my feelings and allowed myself to become emotionally numb.
The pain of loss, the pain of failure, the pain of heartbreak all seemed to hit me at once and it was overwhelming so in my haste, I ran away from my problems. In desperation to keep out the bad feelings, I also shut out the good ones. I didn’t face the emotional pain nor did I learn to cope with it.
But this is a terrible solution because life without sadness means you’ll never understand the fullness of happiness. And a life without even happiness is a depressing one. Choosing to run away from all feelings led to anxiety and paranoia. The emotions we experience are temporary so dealing with them is the lesser demon. For this reason, I let myself cry and sulk in bed the other week when I thought Sir was leaving me. I felt the heartbreak, which was only temporary because as of this moment, I am still his.
RUN AWAY FROM FEAR
I tend to run away from my fear of abandonment. Maybe, I’m doing so right now. The fact that I’m still Sir’s submissive makes me feel better, but perhaps, I’ve been living in a fantasy world that he will never leave.
Belonging to Sir makes me happy, but it seems as though our relationship is becoming one-sided. I’m always excited to tell him about good things that happened and I look to him when I need someone to confide it. But, I’m lucky if I get one text a day from him.
Running away from my fear is believing everything would go back to normal after our almost breakup. Reality is that our relationship changed and I can’t keep running from the fact that it may not last forever. Yes, the day that it happens will really hurt, but that just brings us back to running away from feelings.
If I keep running from this fear then if it does actually happen, I will truly break.
The Sassy Sub Daily