When I read the prompt for No True Way, nothing really came to mind at first. I guess I didn’t really have too many thoughts on whether Dom and sub should be uppercase and lowercase. But then I remembered lover talking about abusive behaviors in some ‘Beta’ males and it got me thinking about hierarchies.
According to Merriam-Webster, status means, “1a : position or rank in relation to others the status of a father. b : relative rank in a hierarchy of prestige especially : high prestige. 2 : the condition of a person or thing in the eyes of the law. 3 : state or condition with respect to circumstances the status of the negotiations.”
Social status is a thing. Where you rank in society can impact your educational opportunities, career, community, and even your relationships. We tend to look at social status in terms of lower, middle, and upper class. Those in a lower class may very well consider those in higher classes as privileged.
Status is constructed by two different hierarchies. According to Heinrich and Gil-White in ‘The evolution of prestige
Freely conferred deference as a mechanism for enhancing the benefits of cultural transmission’ the two hierarchies are prestige and dominance. Denise D. Cummins states, “In the dominance route, physical intimidation and coercive power are used to achieve high-status positions. In the prestige route, skills and knowledge translate into social influence and social status.”
Based on these theories, what seems to fit your Dominant or yourself the best? Do you or your Dominant have status because of prestige or actual dominance? Can a Dominant operate on one alone or do they need a bit of both?
According to Christine Keller, there are more personality types than just Alpha and Beta. It doesn’t just apply to males either. Marianne Schmid Mast states that hierarchies do exist amongst females, but it takes longer for females to form these structures. There are Alpha, Beta, Gamma, Delta, Sigma, and Omega males and females.
For the purpose of this prompt, let’s just take a better look at what an Alpha male is. He’s the charmer, the man who seems to be a panty dropper. Attractive and social. This sort of man seems to get all the women to swoon over him. They have excellent leadership skills. Some men may feel inferior to him.
There are notions Alpha males may be a bit more dangerous as some can be abusive. And I do believe that there are some abusive or narcissistic people that use the guise of dominance and submission as an excuse for their behavior. But, this is not real dominance; this is just plain abuse.
So are there not other personalities that can be Dominants? If we look at the Beta male, he is also pretty dominant. He seems to have similar qualities to an Alpha male, but seems more reliable and better able to connect emotionally. I feel like a Beta male can be a Dominant. And there are many who say they are Alphas, but are actually Betas.
WHERE WE FIT IN THE HIERARCHIES
With Sir, in a business sense, he comes off as an Alpha male. He’s smart; his words have a lot of sway. But I wonder if he is actually an Alpha male. I don’t mean it in a way as seeing him as any less dominant, but more so as a compliment.
Maybe Sir is a mix of an Alpha and a Beta. I don’t see him as being shy in a group and being more soft spoken. No, Sir will assert himself just fine, but Sir is also modest and kind. He doesn’t feed me those cheesy pick-up lines, but I do see him as being able to hold the attention of many. And I know that many women would be attracted him because of his dominant personality. Perhaps, Sir is more so of the Sigma type.
Though lover commented on Betas being abusive. I think any type can be abusive whether they are Alpha, Beta or whatever. And to be honest, I think lover is more of a Beta. He’s the kind of man to cares and he is definitely modest. Lover is down to earth and the kind of man I see a future with. This is the man who is not only my lover, but has easily become one of my best friends. He’s the man I’d hope to marry one day.
As for me, I thought of myself as an Alpha submissive. The kind of girl who is strong and can be dominant in other areas of life, but sexually submissive. I’ll only submit to those I feel are worthy of it. The one I submit to must be strong, confident, and intelligent. But learning about these hierarchies showed me that maybe I’m more of a Gamma female. Christine Keller wrote the following about Gamma females, “If you want to rock her world, you need to be a really strong man or she won’t even look at you…When we are talking about romantic relationships, she can never be with a guy if she feels that they haven’t clicked.” That seems to sum me up pretty well.
HIERARCHIES AND CASES
I honestly don’t think that capitalizing ‘Dom’ and using lowercase for ‘sub’ has anything to do with whether you are an Alpha or not. Hierarchies don’t seem to play a part in that. It’s part of the dynamic that you share with your partner. Some Dominants don’t even refer to their submissives as their ‘subs’. They have other names which they will refer to instead.
I have not used ‘Dom’ with all Dominants. With my first, I just said ‘dom’. And with my second, I used ‘mistress’ as I am bisexual and submissive to both men and women. Only with my current relationship do I use ‘Dom’, ‘Sir’ or ‘Daddy’. This could potentially just be due to habit or because I am more submissive to him than I was to anyone else. It could also be due to the fact that Sir is a lot older than me and it’s a sign of respect and love.
In German, he’s ‘mein Herr’ which means my Lord. In that case, I’m his ‘devote sau’ which is submissive pig. I used ‘devote frau’ which is submissive woman, but Sir wanted me to change it to ‘sau’ as it’s more humiliating and degrading and those are some of our kinks.
But Sir and I are very similar in not really caring about titles or labels. As long as I am his, it’s fine. Any name or title that I may use to refer to Sir in my blog, doesn’t mean he’s any less my Dominant and I’m any less his submissive.
The Sassy Sub Daily