There is so much I want to say to you, but I don’t know how. To say I am just a sad submissive is is an understatement.
THE SAD SUBMISSIVE WEEPS
I feel like I am drowning in a sea of violent sorrows. Maybe I was naive for once again ignoring the warning signs. I should have known that it was coming. Maybe I’m just a victim of my own delusions, this made up fantasy that this would be forever.
From the beginning, I told myself not to get attached, but then I did. You are the first man I opened up to since being released from the prison my ex held me in. I let myself become vulnerable with you and I gave a part of myself away to you. The moment I became your submissive, I knew there was no other Dom that I wanted but you.
So this hurts more than anything else and I am a sad submissive who cannot stop crying. Now, I’m afraid that I’m all out of sass.
I’ve never cried when men abandoned me. I didn’t experience heartbreak with my ex. But now, the tears won’t stop. Crying in my sleep and crying as soon as my eyes open. My eyes are swollen and my face is raw.
HOW DO I GO ON?
The whole reason I started this blog was because of you. I don’t know if I’ll be able to continue to write without you.
On days when I felt weak, you were my strength. But now, who will be there when my world feels like it’s falling apart? Who will help mend my heart from losing you? How do I go on? It’s not as if I can go cry to a friend because it was just you and me and no one else knew. I can’t just call my friends and cry about my Dom leaving. So I feel alone.
But maybe you’re my weakness too. From the moment we met, I was like putty in your hands. I broke my limits for you because that’s how much I trusted you, how much I needed you.
THE SAD SUBMISSIVE IS LOST
When did things change? Do you not want me anymore? When did you stop wanting me?
I remember when I would tell you that even when you’re old and gray, I’d still be yours. Many times, I’ve told you that you were the only Dom for me. It’s not easy to just let go of that.
Maybe in a few months, you’ll forget about me as you’re busy with your happy life, but I don’t know how I’ll ever forget about you. It’ll leave scars and the pain I feel won’t go away so quickly.
I was lost before I found you, but without you, I just feel lost again. Broken before I met you, but you helped heal me only for me to break again.
But I can’t be a submissive without you. I don’t need just any Dom, I need you. Perhaps, this is a lot easier for you, but the truth is, I think a part of me will always belong to you. A part of me will always love you.
I don’t want to let go; I can’t let go. So a sad submissive sits here, holding onto hope that this isn’t the end and that you won’t let go too.