Quote Quest

Self-doubt Lies Awake

“And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.” ~ Sylvia Plath

For the most part, I’ve categorized myself as a sex blogger. But I guess it’s a bit broader than that. I write about dating and past relationships and I mostly write about my relationship with Sir. It’s not all sex. Trust me, I have sex less than once a week.

But I am a creative being. I am indeed an artist…an artist of words, that is. And like most artists, I struggle with self-doubt, especially in light of recent events.

SELF-DOUBT AND WRITING

When I first started this blog, it was mainly a way to process things for myself and a way to share my more wordy thoughts with Sir. I never really expected a lot of followers. As of this past Tuesday, this blog is six months old and surprisingly, I’ve been blogging daily.

When I started to build a following, it was no longer just about writing. It became about the marketing and learning SEO and different formatting of the website. Sometimes, I feel as though my writing suffered when the focus shifted to branding.

Self-doubt causes me worry about my words. Is what I say good enough? I’m not an expert so will people actually get something out of this? Am I steering people in the wrong direction? And I think the worst concern is if my opinions are offensive to others.

Even my distaste for certain foods seem to offend others. Maybe not so much in the sex blogging community, but in my vanilla life, I get a lot of nasty comments about some of my food choices. I find there’s a similar discourse about sex, kink, and identity within the blogging community and it enforces my self-doubt.

THE IMPACT

It seems as though, I am not as honest with my feelings as I once was. By that, I don’t mean that I am lying on my blog, but I’m feel as though, I am holding back a lot more.

I also feel as though, I hide behind dark blankets because I have insecurities about my body. Insecurities and self-doubt pretty much fall into the same category.

So in my blog, you don’t get to see the “real” me, the raw and unfiltered me. I doubt my abilities to maintain relationships as I feel as though no matter what I write, what I create will upset some people. In that, I tend not to share my unpopular opinions because it will anger people.

An opinion cannot be verified or denied; they are your truth. But recently, I’ve seen so many who tell others that their opinions are the wrong ones. Who are we to tell others how to think? We shouldn’t completely change someone into something they’re not just because you feel your opinion is right and their’s is wrong. By doing so, you are a conduit of someone else’s self doubt because they may very begin to doubt in the validity of their own thoughts and identity.

RECTIFYING SELF-DOUBT

With all this being said, I’m going to work on posting whatever I want to post without doubting myself or my opinions. I think some of my best writing comes from being able to just speak my mind without worrying about if I’m going to rub someone the wrong way.

I don’t want to doubt my writing anymore. While many times, I do research so that my writing contains factual knowledge, I also want to be true to my beliefs and the way I interpret this research.

Yours Truly,
The Sassy Sub Daily

Image from Unsplash

Quote Quest - Self-doubt

sass c.

i'm just your average girl with a dirty mind. young, asian and submissive...does that pique your interest? constantly in a battle with myself whether to stay confined by my cultural values or to break free like the freak i am.

Instagram: @thesassysubdaily
Twitter: @sassysubdaily

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6 Comments

  1. Do you boo! And if people get offended they can scroll on by! Self doubt is our worst enemies!

    1. Thanks. Yeah, I’m just going to write what I want to write rather than let the few try to dictate my thoughts and emotions.

  2. Honestly, I have felt a lot of this and really, the only person who made me feel that way was me. My writing has changed, my posts have changed and my words have changed because I no realise this is my space and I no longer hold back how I feel.

    It took me a long time to get to that point. I think if that is what you wanna do, stop holding back – just be you. The rest will follow xx

    1. I’m definitely going to try. Hopefully, one day people will realize that we don’t have to have the same opinions on everything. If we were all the same, the world would be rather boring.

  3. This is your blog, your space, and if people don’t like what you write, they can move on. That’s how I feel about mine, although I have to admit that recently there have been one or two subjects I haven’t blogged about, for fear of those opinionated souls. But bottom line is, there is a cross at the top right of the screen, and people who don’t like your words can just click that and leave your site. So write what you want, because no one should tell you what you can write or not in a space you have created for yourself. And just for the record: I like what you write 🙂
    ~ Marie

    1. Someone once messaged me on Instagram that they didn’t like what I was doing. I told them that there was a button that said unfollow and they were free to use it at their leisure. Definitely trying to keep a similar mentality with this blog.

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