“I accept it, if the sub wants a safeword. But a good sub knows that she/he shall not use it.”
The second prompt for No True Way is this quote. Many in D/s relationships have safewords to ensure the safety, both physically and emotionally, of the submissive.
NECESSITY OF A SAFEWORD
Are safewords important? Absolutely. Are safewords used in all D/s relationships? Probably not.
I think the use of a safeword will depend on your dynamic. Sir and I do not have a safeword because there isn’t much harm that can be done to me when we play. When you’re in a long distance relationship, a safeword doesn’t hold as much significance as most play isn’t done in person.
Sir and I rely on direct communication. If something is too much for me, I have to be honest with him. It’s not a matter of saying something like, “violin,” to tell him it’s going too far. We have to have honest discussion and that’s exactly what I have with him. I’ve never felt that I needed to hide anything from him. I can talk to him about anything and I’m not afraid to let him know I feel about certain tasks. It’s not a matter of being bratty; it’s a matter of being honest.
I’m sure if we ever do get to play in person, there will be a safeword, but at the moment, it’s not exactly needed.
UNDERSTANDING OF A DOMINANT
I think by saying a good sub knows not to use a safeword is a bit of red flag. The more appropriate wording should be, “a good sub knows when to use it.”
There has to be an understanding on the Dominant’s part that there are some things that are beyond the sub’s limits. Yes, Dominants will push their submissive’s limits and yes, limits do change over time, but a good Dominant knows that a submissive is not invincible.
Some Dominants know how far to push, but others can get lost in the scene. While Dominants are in control of the scene, they are only human. This is why a safeword is important.
WHEN TO USE A SAFEWORD
To me, a safeword should not be used as a way of getting out of something you don’t want to do. I feel as though a safeword is the last resort. Let’s use bondage and suspension as an example. The rope bunny endures what they can, but if they feel sharp pains in their spine and they’re having a bit of difficulty breathing, I think it’s time to use a safeword.
But that’s jus my opinion. I’m sure others have different opinions.
The Sassy Sub Daily