4 Thoughts or Fiction

Love In His Body Language

“Body language is a silent orchestra, as people constantly give clues to what they’re thinking and feeling.” – Psychology Today

Body language includes facial expressions, body gestures (kinesics), space (proxemics), touch (haptics), and eye contact (oculesics). Most of our communication relies on body language.

In a long distance relationship, we often can’t rely on body language to get to know each other. We lack the ability to touch each other. That physical intimacy cannot be relied upon.

With Sir, body language is not used to get to know him. All we have are texts. But with lover, it’s all about body language. For the past couple of months, I’ve been trying to figure out if lover is actually in love with me. I thought I’d take a look at his body language and analyze what it could all be saying.

FACIAL EXPRESSIONS

I’ve seen a range of facial expressions when it comes to lover. I’ve seen him deal with various situations.

When lover talks about the problems his ex is still causing, he stares more intensely at the wall. It shows a bit of anger as it accompanied a disgusted vocal tone and his volume increases.

In contrast, when I walk into the room, his lip curls up which shows me that he’s happy. When lover and I have sex, his mouth drops open and his eyes close, this tells me that he’s going to cum and sure enough, within seconds of this change in facial expression, he explodes inside of me.

KINESICS

When lover opens the door, I walk in and he opens his arms. This is the gesture signaling for me to kiss him while his arms wrap around me. Sometimes, he’ll pat the couch next to where he’s sitting, this means that he wants me to sit next to him.

After sex, if he leaves his arms out, it means that he wasn’t me to rest my head on his chest while he holds me close to him. If he stays flat on his back with his arms across his chest, he’s not in a cuddling mood. Sometimes, he’ll keep his arm at his side with his palm up which tells me that he wants me to hold his hand.

More often than not, he’ll leave his arm out.

PROXEMICS

It is said that we all have boundaries. We all need space; we all have a bubble. There is public distance, social distance, personal distance, and intimate distance. Public distance is anything beyond 8 feet and is normally used for public speaking. Social distance is from 4-8 feet and is commonly used for strangers or forming new groups. Personal distance is about 18 inches to 4 feet and is commonly used for conversation with friends. Intimate distance is from touching to 18 inches and is often used with lovers, family members, and close friends.

With my lover, we clearly fall within the intimate distance. There is no distance between us. We are always touching.

HAPTICS

Haptics…touching. How does the lover touch me? Well, I think the real question would be how doesn’t he touch me? We kiss, we hug, we cuddle, we make love. Skin to skin contact.

Often times, women intertwine sex and intimacy. However, men separate the two. Bearing that in mind, I believe that when my lover willfully cuddles with me on a regular basis, there is an interest in something more than just a sexual relationship. I believe that it is an attempt to build up the intimate relationship and maybe he’s seeking more and does not have the courage to voice it out loud.

OCULESICS

Lover always make eye contact with me. When we go in for a kiss, he looks me in the eye and pulls me toward him.

They say that the eyes are the window to the soul so I have to wonder when he looks at me with these gentle eyes, how does he really feel about me? Is it sincere? Does he truly care about me? Does he love me?

When he tells me something and looks me in the eye, I feel like it means he is being honest. When I’m a bit out of it and he looks at me with these eyes full of concern, I feel as though he does actually care about me.

WHAT DOES HIS BODY LANGUAGE MEAN?

Even after all this analyzing, it only confirms what I know is true. He does care about me, but it doesn’t tell me the one thing I want to know. I don’t think body language can necessarily give me that answer without a verbal confirmation.

I think I still need to hear the words that he loves me while the body language supports that his words are indeed true.

Yours Truly,
The Sassy Sub Daily

4 Thoughts or Fiction Prompt 152 - Intimacies of Body Language
To see what others have to say about Body Language, please click here.

sass c.

i'm just your average girl with a dirty mind. young, asian and submissive...does that pique your interest? constantly in a battle with myself whether to stay confined by my cultural values or to break free like the freak i am.

Instagram: @thesassysubdaily
Twitter: @sassysubdaily

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10 Comments

  1. I am so enjoying learning all about your relationship with lover and on top of that this is a fab informative post on about body language
    May x

    1. Thank you. I had studied body language in depth once upon a time. My memory was a bit foggy so I had to do some research to jump start my brain haha.

  2. Thank you for all the information on body language and how it relates to your relationship with lover. I read up a bit for this prompt and was interested to find that it is quite a recent expression. But I expect people have been ‘reading’ each other since time began. There’s a lot of it in Shakespeare viz ‘Yond Cassius has a lean and hungry look. He thinks too much. Such men are dangerous.’ And so it proved.

    1. Thank you for reading. I think it’s been used for quite some time as well. Darwin wrote the book, ‘The Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animals’ in 1872. I believe he was the first to study body language from a scientific standpoint. However, it didn’t gain so much popularity as a research topic from a psychological standpoint until more recently.

      I believe it’s seen in literature even in the Canterbury Tales. Maybe not so much in an analytical sense, but the subtleties in nonverbal communication were definitely conveyed.

      “His eyes twinkled in his head aright
      As do the stars in the frosty night”

      1. Thanks for all that. Much appreciated!

  3. I love how you have broken this into the different categories, and have learned some new words reading this. Like May, I love learning more about your relationship with lover 🙂
    ~ Marie

    1. Thank you. Hopefully, more posts about lover will come about. I don’t plan on ever leaving him and hopefully, he doesn’t plan on leaving me either.

  4. I love how you observed your lover’s body language and analysed it as if you were laying a puzzle. It reminds me of a book Jeanette Winterson wrote, in which her narrator observes/analyses her lover’s body parts. Your observations are so detailed and it makes you two feel so real (I know you are, of course). And yet, as you reflect, it can’t tell you the one thing you want to know. I think you need both body language and spoken language. Neither can make up entirely for the other!

    1. Definitely. If only reading body language was the equivalent to reading minds.

  5. […] “when I walk into the room, his lip curls up which shows me that he’s happy […] but it doesn’t tell me the one thing I want to know.” READ MORE… […]

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