Strip and Click

I’m the kind of girl who always felt ugly. I look back at photos from my past and I’m like, “Wow! I actually looked pretty good back then. What happened to me now?” However, at the time in which the photos were taken, I felt fat or ugly. I’ve always had issues with my body. My body is one of my insecurities.

Sir has seen this insecurity. It was one of the first things he saw actually. Yet he made me feel sexy so I started sending him more nudes.

I feel as though the nudes I take are a bit amateur and trashy. I have a really expensive camera, yet I take my photos with my phone. The quality just cannot compare.

THE PROCESS

When I take nudes with my phone, there is no process at all. I simply strip and click. Okay, maybe it’s not that simple. Even in selfie mode, I twist and turn my body in a way to make me look more flattering. The ugly yellow light in my room impacts the hues of the photo so I’m constantly bending, folding, twisting my arm trying to get better lighting and trying to eliminate the shadow across my face.

I take several. Then I pick the one that doesn’t make me look like a glob and send it to Sir. I don’t edit any photos I send to Sir. He sees the raw version. The unfiltered, unedited version of me because I’m comfortable enough with him to allow myself to be more vulnerable.

But I told Sir that I wanted to be able to take more of a variety for him rather than my signature pose…lying in bed with a blanket covering my stomach.

BUT I’M MORE CREATIVE

I cannot draw…actually I can doodle half naked men, but that’s about it. But I have different visions in my mind. Sometimes those images translate into poems and sometimes, they just get lost because I’m not sure what to do with them.

I took nudes with a guitar one day. I had an image in my head, but they didn’t turn out the way I had imagined. I ended up editing them to change the background and it looked a bit more decent…still wasn’t all that satisfied.

I’m better at hiding behind the camera than posing in front of one. I know what I want to capture and if I can’t see it through the lens, I can tell someone how to tilt their head or swing their hip. If I’m the one in front of the camera…I don’t get that same direction and I never know how to pose haha.

For Christmas, I had a this vision of what I wanted to create for Sir. It did not come out the way I wanted at all. I had tried to look like a naked present. I had this silky tie that I used to attempt to bind my hands behind my back. I set the camera on timer and got into position…I check the photo and I cringed.

PRACTICE

This weekend, I pulled out my fancy camera. I was trying to create an instant black backdrop by changing the shutter speed to the maximum in which it’d still be able to sync with the flash. I also changed the ISO to 200 and the aperture to 5.6. I found that, I was still seeing everything in the photo because the flash is attached to the camera. I adjusted the setting and removed the flash and everything was completely black and I couldn’t even get myself to show up in the photo.

This technique really needs a reflective umbrella and an external flash to sync with the camera. I’m not sure if my camera has the ability to sync with an external flash. As I even tried with an external flash and it only went off if I attached it to the top of the camera. I couldn’t get it to work using the studio feature.

So I settled with trying to take a nude selfie, but holding a camera is more awkward than holding a phone. It restricted my ability to bend and twist my body to make it look flattering.

So I finally settled with using my phone and lying on my bed like I normally do. This time, I added one of the only pieces of lingerie that I own. I did use an app to edit the photo, but not in the way you may think. I used an app to remove any identifying markings.

I sent the photo to Sir. While Sir has seen my room and all my identifying features, the kink world has not. Sir said it was a nice photo and if I removed the metadata, I could post it online. I wondered if I really should, but Sir said he didn’t see a problem as no one would be able to identify me and as an exhibitionist, I’d probably enjoy the reaction I’d get from it.

So the image I use today is one that I took myself and is of me. It doesn’t look as trashy as the nudes I normally send to Sir. It hides a lot, but also gives you a little peak. For the first time ever, you get to see more than a small patch of skin. And no matter what reaction it gets, I’m happy that Sir liked it.

Yours Truly,
The Sassy Sub Daily

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10 Comments

  1. The image beautiful, sexy even. I can get the feelings of insecurity and how we look back and wonder why. But with the right support from a partner we can feel better about ourselves.

  2. I can relate to so much of this sassy and it is really difficult when you have these sorts of confidence issues surrounding body image. I started much like you and have found that it has become easier. Age doesn’t help but in the same way, I actually feel better about myself than I did when I was younger. I love the photo at the top and look forward to enjoying more pictures of you in the future 🙂

    1. I think the worst of it stems from my ex. He would say things like, “You’re ugly. You’re disgusting. No man will ever want you or want to see you naked.” But Sir told me that my ex said those things to try to make me stay with him so he could continue to freeload. While my self esteem has improved a lot since I met Sir, those words still haunt me from time to time.

      1. That is awful. I am truly sorry that those things were said to you. At least my issues have come from my own thought and not from someone else. I hope that you continue to listen to the positives and heal 😊

  3. Great picture sassy! I like the way you describe sending pictures that are raw and unfiltered to your sir. He will always see you for who are and love you for it!

  4. Love that image of you, Sass. It’s been fun reading the photography post and see the process people have, or what images they like of themselves or not. It’s wonderful to share your raw images with someone you love 🙂
    ~ Marie

    1. Thank you. I think when you trust someone that much, you feel safe sharing the real you…both in photos and in just being yourself.

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