Today marks six months with Sir. As I write this, I’m not in the best headspace (I’m writing this a couple days before the six month mark). I’ve been feeling rather lonely lately and to be honest, it’s pretty depressing.
HOW WE MET
For those who are new to my blog, I met Sir on a site called GetDare. It’s like a kink forum, but it’s more PG than FetLife. There’s no porn on GetDare. I first joined GetDare in 2013 when I was initially interested in kink. I guess Sir had joined around then too, but I didn’t meet him until six years later.
In 2013, I had already formed an interest in girls and I labeled myself on the site as bi-curious. I still wasn’t quite sure of my sexuality. A girl asked me to be her slave and I was new to kink so it freaked me out and I logged out immediately. I didn’t log back in until 2019. I had suffered a bad injury and was bored in my recovery.
I was a sub to another Dom. It was short lived because he went MIA after two weeks. I was also a sub to a Domme. She was the only woman I’ve ever stripped for. She had ordered me to have sex with a couple of guys which I did. But then she dropped me after I told her no to something I found dangerous. She had ordered me to go to a bar and let any man or woman fuck me if they wanted to. She said no condom was to be used because whores don’t use condoms. I just wouldn’t subject myself to that. She didn’t like that so she ghosted me.
During this time, Sir and I had been going back and forth in different threads on the forum. Sir was smart and funny. I had sent him a message to say hi and that I found him hilarious. We ended up chatting and conversation moved to Kik.
I was masturbating one night. I played with myself for so long trying to orgasm that I ended up falling asleep in the middle of a conversation with Sir. I woke up a couple hours later and told Sir about what had happened. He wanted to try something on me. I don’t know if play was only supposed to be casual, but that was the day, I became his submissive.
BUT IT’S LONG DISTANCE
You know when you feel like everything just clicks until you find out there’s a “but.” That’s exactly what the distance is. I feel like Sir is the perfect Dom for me, but he’s so far away.
At first, the distance was okay. I was trying to keep emotional distance as well, but the thing about a D/s relationship is that so much weight is placed on the emotional aspect. Eventually, I found myself attached. Scared at the possibility that he would ever leave me. I need him. At that point, the physical distance became hard to deal with.
I would love nothing more than to be fucked like his dirty little whore then kissed and cuddled like his little girl. But when there’s a whole fucking continent and ocean between us, that can’t be easily done.
BUT THE DISTANCE IS WORTH IT
But to have a connection like this with anyone is rare so the distance is worth it. I’ve had physical intimacy with many others, but with Sir it’s like an emotional intimacy. He knows me in a way no one else does. He knows my stressors. He knows my dark secrets. He just knows me. I’ve bared my soul to him.
I’m thinking of Vanessa Carlton’s lyrics, “If I could fall into the sky. Do you think time would pass me by? Cause you know I’d walk a thousand miles if I could just see you tonight.”
The Sassy Sub Daily
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