Half Assed Smile

A smile that hides the pain within the heart soothes the hearts of those who behold it. So smile even through difficult times.

Mufti Menk

2020, the year in which things were supposed be quite amazing. As the year went on, more and more chaos erupted. This is not the year for doom and gloom. I had plans to travel. I even hoped that maybe I’d get to see Sir sometime this year. But it doesn’t look like that will happen this year.

It’s been nearly 6 months with Sir. Next Sunday will actually mark 6 months since I became his sub. That’s 6 months without seeing someone I long to see. I don’t know why, but it feels as though he may be pushing me away. Maybe he is just busy, but it makes me sad and I really miss him.

So when I smile, it’s rather half assed. They say, “Fake it until you make it.” So I do tend to fake a smile.

I miss talking to Sir. We used to talk for several hours everyday, but lately it seems like I barely get one text from him each day. I miss how he used to keep me on my toes and sometimes make me take off my bra in the middle of the day. Maybe the honeymoon phase is over and this is what most long distance relationships look like, but I really do miss Sir.

But I really like making others happy so most often I’ll try to smile anyway. Underneath the smile, sadness and pain. It’s a half smile or maybe just a half-assed one, but it’s all I can give at the moment as I’m afraid, I don’t have a whole.

Just another half of a whole
A sub apart from her Dom
Nearly a half a year without seeing you
Shows the strength it takes to conquer time

Halfway around the world
A distance we cannot control
I gasp a half breath
In loneliness without you

Half a heart beat to keep me alive
The other belonging to you
So I’ll wear half a smile
Waiting, but still happy just to have you

sass c.

Yours Truly,
The Sassy Sub Daily

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    1. Thank you for reading. Yes, I saw Brigit’s tweet about it over the weekend. I used to write a poem a day, but now, I run into more writer’s block and am lucky to get a poem a month haha.

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