I long for him from miles away. It was never bound to be an ordinary relationship. He was never my boyfriend. We never dated. I simply became spellbound by his dominance and easily fell into submission. He became my Dom.
From early on, I knew that our relationship would not look like that of so many other kink bloggers. Many kink bloggers are married, dating or have play partners that they see on a regular basis. Sir is far away; I knew it would never work like that.
There wouldn’t be any hot steamy play sessions at his place on the weekends. There would be no whips, chains, or paddles involved. There would be no restraints on a four-poster bed. BDSM would look different for us. There isn’t any sex involved even though, I’d love for Sir to fuck me senseless.
When a D/s relationship is long distance, the traditional sense of play of thrown out the window. It’s not as simple as a flight or drive across the country. We’re talking two completely separate continents. We’re taking an enormous time difference where his day is my night and my day is his night.
I used to think that BDSM was all about sex and yes, most of the time, there is a great deal of sex involved, but I guess if you think of pro Dommes, they don’t have sex with their clients and still they tend to remain the face of BDSM in a way. BDSM does not have to be all about sex. A rigger can hoist up a rope bunny without having sex. A pro can trample on a client without touching the client sexually.
In the case of D/s relationships, it’s about the power exchange more so than sex. One person gives up power and the other person receives. I sometimes like to bring the fact that Sir and I have never had sex, yet he’s the only man who’s made me orgasm. I can be very sexual with Sir. I send him nudes and I tell him dirty things, but there is no sex. For Sir and I, yes there are some physical things involved. He controls some of my toys. But for the most part, it’s emotional, it’s psychological. Sir can easily get inside my head. When we play, though miles apart, Sir can still take my mind to another place where I can feel his touch. I can feel his ghostly touch.
The Sassy Sub Daily
For more Wicked Wednesday posts, click here.