BDSM, Life

When He’s Miles Away

I think the hardest part about my relationship with my Dom is that he’s far away and I don’t get to see him. I long to submit to him in person, but it’s not as easy as just being a couple towns over.

I have sex with men I meet on Tinder. One at a time of course. It’s too hard for me to keep track of multiple fuck buddies or friends with benefits. The hardest part about finding guys to have sex with on Tinder is you never know what you’re going to get. It could be someone rather vanilla or it could be a psychopath. With Tinder, most men are into the one and done arrangement. I can’t bash on them because I was doing the same thing. However, it’s hard to trust a random Tinder hookup to dominate me in bed.

With my Dom, I trust him with my life. But if I find someone to physically dominate me in bed, what’s to say he’s not a serial killer luring me to my demise.

I’m rather upfront with guys that I have sex with. I tell them that I’m a submissive. There are some guys who block me right away and others who don’t seem to mind. However, even when they don’t mind, they seem to be vanilla or have another kink. For example, one guy I met on Tinder didn’t mind that I was a sub because he was a swinger. However, he wasn’t into the D/s lifestyle and he had a hard time staying hard so the sex wasn’t that great. We ended up just talking in bed after one round because he couldn’t go for another.

Then there’s the guys who say they want something serious. That’s when I’m not sure if I should tell them that I’m a submissive right away. It’s hard to tell how someone will react. I can’t exactly tell if the other person is secretly in the lifestyle or not. I also don’t know if they’ll be accepting it and allow me to keep my Dom or just shut me out.

Trusting guys with that part of my life is not easy. If they’re mad about a breakup or sex that didn’t go their way, I’m always afraid that they’ll decide to out me as their way of showing me spite.

With vanillas, even though some may be accepting, I still have to try to hide my kinks. They’re not exactly welcome in the bedroom so sometimes it feels like I can’t be me.

Yours Truly,

The Sassy Sub Daily

sass c.

i'm just your average girl with a dirty mind. young, asian and submissive...does that pique your interest? constantly in a battle with myself whether to stay confined by my cultural values or to break free like the freak i am.

Instagram: @thesassysubdaily
Twitter: @sassysubdaily

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  1. It is not hiding it is more of protection. You don’t want them to tap into your deeper desires and get you hooked and then manipulate you to do something more out of your comfort zone.

    1. Yes, I know, but at the same time, if it moves to the point of a serious relationship, I don’t know if I can sustain a long term thing with someone who made me suppress my kinks indefinitely. It would be like telling me I’m not allowed to be me.

      1. I know being cut off from your kink is like cutting off my arms.

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