Many of those who are vanilla, don’t quite understand the appeal in my kinks. I enjoy humiliation and degradation. It really is a turn on for me. It’s not for everyone and that’s completely fine. I’m not sure if there is a middle ground when it comes to understanding the why of it. You either get it or you don’t. I think even those who are quite kinky don’t quite get it if they’re not into it.
The why behind my kinks is something that I have a hard time trying to explain because I really don’t know why. I wish I could give you some deep profound answer as to what makes me tick, but I don’t have one. I can speculate the causes of it, but I don’t exactly know the psychological reasoning behind my kinks.
As I’ve mentioned before, there is a thrill in being a slut for my Dom. I love showing him my naked body and it’s arousing when I do so. I guess if it is forced, it’d be seen as an act of humiliation. While someone is fully clothed and you are ordered to strip and stand naked before them, it is humiliating. They become the one with all the power as you no longer have anything to hide behind.
I think humiliation and degradation are similar in that regard. A submissive is being debased. Their emotional defenses are in a way being taken away. In public, my persona is rather confident. When you have a sponge for a brain, people look at you with higher regard simply because you possess a wealth of knowledge. When my Dom humiliates and degrades me, I don’t get to keep that persona. I become less than him in a way. This is another reason why I could not submit to an idiot. How can you strip me from that persona if you are not more intellectual? How can you do so if you are unable to outsmart me?
I also grew up in a sexually repressed environment. I was a late bloomer when it came down to sex and relationships. I didn’t lose my virginity until my mid 20s. To have sex outside of marriage was associated with guilt and shame. You’re pretty much wearing that Scarlet Letter. When you’re being “forced”, it’s a bit freeing because you’re being pushed to explore your sexuality further without having a “choice.” This is not to say that you are being raped. You do have an agreement with the other person. But being “forced” allows for those sexual experiments without associating guilt or shame.
It may also be due to the fact that shame and arousal are feelings that have been linked together. To be aroused and feel shame for having sex. Maybe my brain is wired to believe that if I’m humiliated or shamed then I’ll also feel aroused. I really don’t know.
I do know that I do feel more desired by my Dom when we play. It may in part be due to the primal nature of degrading sex. The predator eyes you like a piece of meat. I guess some people would rather not be sexually objectified like that. However, I crave my Dom’s attention so why wouldn’t I want him to desire me?
I also think my Dom enjoys when I am humiliated. I know when we first started, he wanted to get a gauge on how much degradation I could take. It’s something he likes and wanted to see if he could push it further. Of course I said that he could go as far as he wanted to go and if it was too much, I’d tell him. I get pleasure out of knowing that he’s enjoying something. As a submissive, I do aim to serve my Dom to the best of my abilities however that may be. I get satisfaction in knowing that he is pleased with me.
The Sassy Sub Daily