“A sub needs to feel wanted. A Dom wants to feel needed.” This has been something on my mind this week.
I’ve never been one to enjoy the spotlight, but lately I’ve realized how much I crave my Dom’s attention. It makes me feel wanted.
In the past, I wasn’t one for clinginess or neediness. I think after my ex, it became that way. My ex wanted to use me (meaning he wanted to be a lazy ass gold digger), but he never really wanted me. He didn’t care about me; he only cared about himself and how he could benefit from me. He made me feel like shit all the time. I was always worried he would cheat on me (I shouldn’t have had to worry about that though because he had ED and couldn’t get it up). I needed him to man up and care for me, but he was the never the man I needed.
I became very independent after that. I didn’t need anyone, especially a man. I had sworn myself off from dating. After what the shit head put me through, do you blame me for doing so? A year later, I had gone on a date, but he left me with a queasy feeling that something was off. I was right for not needing him. I found out shortly after that he was trying to lure me in with the intentions of hooking up then leaving me high and dry. I didn’t go on another date for over two years.
I think in order to me feel needy, I need to feel wanted. I didn’t get that vibe from either guy last year.
As a sub, you feel wanted when you find the right Dom. My first Dom went MIA. How do you feel wanted when your Dom is not present? You don’t. You feel ignored.
With my Delicious Dom, it’s a different feeling. I don’t feel ignored even when he’s busy. Yes, being far away means that I can’t feel it in terms of being fucked primally. However, he does pay attention to me. Even with things that I forget or may not realize myself, he notices. When we play or even when we just talk, I feel wanted. He’ll compliment my writing and it makes me feel special. He reads what I post and that shows the amount he pays attention to me. I may not crave everyone’s attention, but I certainly long for his. I long for his approval.
The other day, I told my Dom that I felt needy with him. Rather than be annoyed with my neediness, he said it was okay and that it wasn’t a bad thing. So while I know that the need to feel wanted is a real thing for a sub, do Doms have the want to feel needed?
My Dom once told me, “A real Dom helps you build up your self confidence, helps you be who you need to be…” I guess in a way, it shows the want to be needed.
He’s that safe place. When I’m scared of something, he reassures me. When I’m excited about something, he supports me. I’m constantly learning new things from him. Even with the little mishap with my car this morning, he’s the only one who knows and offered me advice on how to fix the situation. I can see the way in which he is a bit protective at times especially when it comes to my identity. I think it’s rather obvious that I NEED HIM!
The Sassy Sub Daily