For as long as I can remember, I’ve been a fairly good actress when it comes to hiding or getting out of things. As a kid, I had found a way to make myself throw up pretty much whenever I wanted so I could get out of taking certain tests. I was great at playing the mopey kid who was just “too sick” to go on.
As I grew older, it became the exact opposite. When I was sick or in pain, I’d hide it fairly well. I’ve been to work with terrible sinus infections and bronchitis at the same time. I don’t like piles of work to catch up on so why take time off for something as minor as that.
For several years, I’ve suffered from pelvic pain. I have a high pain tolerance so I’d just push through it and sometimes even workout in pain. The endorphins from working out would help relieve the pain, but a few hours later I’d be hurting again. People would say it was my hip flexors, but I know what tight hip flexors feel like and this pain certainly was not the same.
I’d skip out on hanging out with friends to stay in bed at times. It’s not that I didn’t want to be a good friend, but sometimes that’s what people think. Most of the time, I’ll suck it up for your benefit, but every once in a while, I just can’t. I don’t like a pity party so I always try to hide my pain. I also find it a bit embarrassing when my pain has to deal with my reproductive organs so why would I go around telling people, “My ovaries hurt today.”
I wouldn’t even talk about these things with sexual partners. Why would I? They’d probably see it as some sort of handicap.
The Sassy Sub Daily